Tatsu

Obviously it's kinda hard to tell since I don't know how I would be or feel I weren't smoking weed daily and also weren't doing other drugs for such a long time. Plus I can't always tell how objective my self-image is. I do have a tendency for depression, which was present before I even started drinking alcohol let alone doing illegal drugs. I see it as one of the reasons why I have the tendency to abuse instead of only use substances. But what i can say for sure is that I don't suffer from anomia, not in my native tongue and also not in English. I also never suffered from panic attacks, not even in the times when I suffer from heavy depression. I can also say that I have a steady job for over 20 years now (I'm 38 btw, means I started smoking daily around 30 and not in my teens), always at the same employer (I switched department once tho). Four years ago I did a degree in business science. Took me three years of school (classes for 8 to 16 hours per week, plus writing a thesis and examns each year) while working full-time besides that. So my memory can't be that bad. I do forget faces and names a lot tho...

Depending on your natural tendencies even weed along can get pretty strange if you smoke daily. Luckily I never had any problems while smoking weed. I'm a daily user for 8 years or something like that. Along with various other substances, those not on a daily basis tho...

I don't think you can set up "rules" about how long it takes to get clean or better or wwhatever. People are individuals and some are faster than others. And some never make it at all or make it put keep the anxiety or whatever. Either way, what counts is that you actually made it and that you are actually getting better. When you say your last session lasted 6 years do you mean with that you smoked (more or less) daily? I'm not against daily use of weed, it all depends on the effects it has on you. For some people it has more positive than negative effects and vice versa.

Sounds like you've come a long way. I have to say It's not a surprise it took some month of sobbering (and therapy and meds and what not) before the daily anxiety went away. I'm not an expert but imho that's the price you play if you start abusing drugs in an early age, especially if you do it for years (that's not meant to put you down or anything, I'm just stating the point without a rating). I'm quite glad I just gotten into drugs when I was around 20-22 years old, when my body was fully developped. Obviously there are still sideffects from drug abuse but luckily not on the level you had to deal with them. Bur it seems you made it and life is getting better for you, thumbs up for that! Btw. you wrote you were smoking a lot of Buddha, is that some kind of canabinoid or some regular weed (or something completely different?)?

For my personal taste melodies are a must. The lack of melodies in a lot of releases and the focus on the bass is a major reason why I'm not listening to newer psy stuff but turned to techno (no offense or anything, it's just personal taste). Even when I always was on the cheesy side of psy and goa melodies don't have to be in your face. Acid melodies done with a TB-303 are also totally my thing.

This sounds very interesting to be honest. On the other hand what I like about acid is the whole mind-thing and not only the visual part of tippig. I'm also not sure if I would like the effects of sleep-deprivation since they tend to be rather dark and paranoid. As far as I can tell you can trip with acid and get more than just visual distortions, this depends on the dosage and also on your mindset. One of my first trips was with really strong blotters. I just took half of a blotter but was so out of my mind that after 5 or 6 hours of tripping I blacked out (not as in swooning or anything, I just can't remember anything for a while) and when I regained consciousnes and self-awarness I was walking trough a city made out of shimmering and moving quicksilver. Then some seconds or minutes later I realised I was actually walking home from the partylocation I've been to. And the quilding made of quicksilver were not even regular buildings since I was walking over a bridge. I have to say this was my most far-out experience ever with acid but from what i can tell it's not the same as this Zopiclone thing. Mainly because reality simply didn't exist anymore instead of not being able to tell reality from hallucinations. Anway, damnt this thread makes me wanna take acid...

Oh I see... I don't have much experiences with benzos and similar drugs. But I read stories in other forums about people blacking out for one or two days and what not.

I don't know what Zopiclone is, some kind of neuroleptica? But I kinda know this feeling from acid. When it really hits me I feel kinda similar, like I know everything. At least I don't have the tendency to talk with unanimated objects but just Keep talking to my self in my head only.

Did you ever take long walks intoxicated while listening to your favs? --> Oh for sure! Tripping on acid and take Longs walks is an amazing thing to do for me. Music on acid is the shit!! I also don't have a Problem with Walking around while being high. I don't care too much what People think anyway but I still avoid crowded places since I'd rather don't "waste" time with talking to People I don't know too well. Did you ever take long bus/train rides REALLY FUCKING intoxicated enjoying your favs? --> Not on purpose but going home from parties and listening to Music while traveling can be fun. Did you ever just sit home, wasted, and make music/listening to music at max volume? Did you ever get drunk, and danced your ass of at home with noone watching? --> Coming home from parties and still being high is rather common for me. When I'm active enough I start djing and obviously dancing or at least either listening to music or searching for new tracks. I also enjoy djing at parties while being high on MDMA. It really makes me feel the Music and I also enjoy being on stage (which can be a bit stressfull when being sober). But I openly admit I'm a drugheag, lots of people don't enjoy playing while on MDMA.

Please hand me the shotgun... :phear:

Psynews has always been a bit of a sausage fest (or at least as long as I can remember). But there where some very active female users in the past, like Heva, Gemini, Pixie Janet, Tahsira and of course me... Seems like now there are even less females active (can't judge that myself). I don't know why that is. Also because it is like that in other forums I used to visit or still visit too. Maybe the whole act of labeling and boxing people is part of that since my personal impression is that the gender roles for males and females are way more static than 10 or 15 years ago. Funny enough at least at parties there were as many goa girls as there were boys. Haven't been to a psy doof in ages but judging from the flyers of todays parties there are more local female psy-djs in Switzerland than when I was in the scene. At least that's a good thing... I don't know if there are generally less people posting here than before. Maybe people tend to be more active and prefere going out or meeting up with friends to talk instead of hanging in a forum all day. Besides us hardcore nerds so to say... There is one swiss psy forum and it is practially dead. I vaguely remember us talking about attracting new members to psynews too, since the forum used to be nearly dead some years aog. I don't konw to attract female members especially. But as far as I can tell the forum is not very sexistic or in any other way negative so I wouldn't know what to change.

That's very sad news. RIP big guy...

For events and stuff I would try www.goabase.net. Since I'm not actively looking for psyparties I can't tell how accurate it is but friends still use it. If you want more underground events you might have to look for local facebook groups or stores where you can find flyers. For news maybe http://www.mushroom-magazine.com/

It's kinda funny that you want him to harass her and getting in trouble because of it for your fun and meanwhile you demand that we should let people develop in their own unique an special way. I can totally see that happening with radi if he follows your advice... (I take it you get the irony, right? but anyway, no more replies to you anyway)

So not thinking it's funny that you are trying to get radi into harassing a girl equals crying and being too shattered to get on with your live? Strange logic imho... You can easily try to intellectually justify your "humour" by pointing out how much you can take and how good your behaviour is for humanity. In end it's pretty obvious you would enjoy seeing radi getting into trouble for sexual harassement (and I'd rather not want to know what thinking about the girl's feeling during that even might give you).

Now that's nice, people should shut the fuck up about their opinion if you don't like it but meanwhile you cry about censorhip since nobody think your comments are funny or wants to read them? Doesn't make too much sense if you ask me.

Really, I do? I just fail to see the fun in your comment considering some people to actually "flirt" like that and they also demand to regard it as funny.

Well, even if he is not playing live he did make the live-mix that is playing (at least I hope so ) and it's his music so why not have some fun with it. I rather have somebody just pressing a button and then his pre-set music is playing and rocking instead of a real live-gig that sucks. But of course having a real gig with rocking music would be the thing to do. I also fail to see why some live acts don't even care to add some live twists to the stuff. I mean even some simple knob twisting could do the trick and alter the tracks. I also think the behaviour has to be linked to a ego which is too big. It could be but I don't know anything about the guy so I'm not able to judge. I haven't seen the whole video but I would be able to DJ (if the tracks I choose are long enough of course) and get in front of the stage and play the clown for the crowd if I would want to. It's also possible to run to the toilets or get a drink even when you are doing live-mixing without a traktor programm and its controller.

Come on people, it's not that much fun to encourage him to sexually harass her. Touch her breasts if he's a courageous man?! You're just being mean here (or totally stupid, I'm not too sure). I'm not saying I appreciate his behaviour towards her but getting him into trouble does not make you look any better than him...

It doesn't matter if you would say the same things to her face that you write here and it also doesn't matter if people here are closer to each other than strangers are. It's a public forum, everybody and their pets can see her picture and read what you wrote about her (and mock her or you about it btw). If you talk about personal things here that's up to you. You can decide what you want to tell and what not or if you post a pic of you (same as I can). But posting stuff about other people can be tricky and imho you should have in mind that not everybody might like it. Especially when it comes to more private things and speculations.

It's a good thing you don't give too much about other people's opinions but I would still try to keep in mind that people are individuals. This means just because you wouldn't care about her uploading a picture of you and discussing your looks does not mean she will feel the same about you doing it. And you are righ: you didn't say anything bad about her. I still think if she would read your speculations about her grade of maturity she might not be too happy about it. At least I wouldn't if I were her. Not because being a kid is bad but because you are making conclusions without really knowing her. I also feel like you wouldn't like reading something like that about you either.

Willingly pushing a monitor on somebody is an absolut no-go. On the other hand it could as well be that he just wanted to move the monitor and didn't realise that the table is allready ending. Especially if he was playing for a while and getting tired or if he was high. I mean the stage is full (which is something that seems to be quite common nowaways since lots of organisers think they can show off their imaginary balls and be on stage with their booked artists, which I think is also a no-go) of people filming him. The girl is quite far away if you see how close the other guys on the stage are. To me it doesn't make much sense if he gets angry about her but not about the rest of the guys. It also doesn't make much sense (not even if he is high as a kite) that he would think he can get away with that if the girl is filming him and lots of other people around too.

Well, actually you just want to meet up to get to know her better so actually it doesn't matter what she thinks why or what you are doing that. If you are still interested in her after seeing her in private you can still clear that up and make a more obvious move. Besides that you are making a lot of assumptions about her and her character just because of some simple sentences she has spoken to you or because of the few details you know about her. This does not help at all imho. Either you can get yourself together and actually get to know her or then all you will do is making assumptions about her. Her and your attitude about work for example. Maybe she just wanted to start a conversation with you then? Why didn't you just tell her you are allready finished and that's why you are taking a break, or even asking her if you should help her since you are allready finished? I don't know what you did but instead of playing little mind games about what her attitude to work might be you should actually talk to her to find out how she really is. And to make her notice you more than the rest of the class. Besides that, she is 19. It's perfectly logical she is not behaving like a fully grown-up adult considering the brain develops until you are 21. If you can't deal with that you have to look for older girls.

I actually thought the same thing like Balance-Music when I saw the photo of her. I would take it off if I were you since there's the chance she might not be too happy finding pictures of her self in the internet (at least not if they were uploaded from another person who is not very close ot her to a public forum). You are still not sure if you really want to be with the girl in a serious way or if you are just horny and want to do her. This is not a surprise considering you hardly know her. If you want to make your mind up about her there is no other way than spending more time with her. And I mean not during school. You allready know she likes manga/animée stuff. You also wrote you want to know more about that stuff. Why don't you just ask her something like: I'm very curious about manga (or animée, or both) but there is so much stuff out I don't have a clue where to start. Can you help me (recommend me something, show me something, what are your favourites, whatever). Like that you can get enganged in a conversation and maybe meet up with her so she can show/lend you something or watch something with her. Depending on how interested she seems to be about helping you you can decide if you would want to ask her for an official date or whatever. I would also not try in all cases to actually get something going when you meet up with her for the first time. See how it goes, make your mind up what you want besides just feeling horny, check out if she is into you and so on but don't push her too much (that does not mean it can't happen on the first try either of course, but take care).

Considering nobody here has seen her it will get quite hard for us to diagnose her problem. But if she is really skinny it might only be logical that the way she looks is linked to her weight. Depending on how thin she is or her appearance she might even have an eating disorder. But obviously that's only a wild guess.