astralprojection

20 mins is Knob Adjumestment. One of their two only good tracks (one other track that is okay and decent is .. hmm... whats it called... ehm.. *checking discogs* right, Clockwise. didnt hear that one on this mix either other than that I shall forever hate them for being a big name who helped kill off goatrance back then.. but since i saw them live and heard this actual set with minor tweaks heck. guess ill have to help. I knew all of these tracks, just really dont feel like diving into all of their tracks to ID them. Sorry. But knob adjusmtent i know by name when i hear it cus its good. the other good one is Hi-Fi Stomp Session which unfortunately they never played during their live sets, at least the three i went to .. and i went to them cus of they were free, and i everyone i knew was there, (they are from my home-city so they were just a local act before getting big) unfortunately i was sitting down complaining most of the time, heh. the last track is their unreleased remix of the AP remix of Faithless god is a dj, although I cant swear to you on that one, but im fairly sure. Yeah its very poor. At least the rumors were they had that remix and i guess that is it. it was so long ago i was at the scene actually dancing to these acts but there u go. sorry for not being much help, when I should be the one on here to know everything about them i guess, coming from the same city being the same age, being partying and dancing to goatrance live on the pulse from early 2000 so.. i feel ashamed I cant just give u all the titles. But for me , Son Kite was the name you threw around when complaining about how goa died. heh. comon i was like 18 - 19. I know the timeframe is illogical, but at the time i discovered goatrance in 1994, and didnt know it was called goatrance. So by 1998 when I learned what it was, it took me many years to discover it, learn about it and I took my time. I discovered every artist slowly but steady. First it was Astral Projection and it took me almost 6 months to say "allright, lets try another artist" . so by the time I started out going to parties, it was mostly goatrance and everyone was happy and hippie. But in about 2003 or so in Swe, there was literally only ONE freakin DJ left in Malmö that still dj'd Goatrance. So yeah.. at least his afterparties were legendary.. too damn shamed i was mad into bensos at the time . anyway, i asked him one time to play that one track I heard way back when, when first hearing goa and didnt knew what it was, and he had it on vinyl and played it for me . That was so sweet of him. He was always complaining i was a "sit-raver" due to my lack of dancefloor precense, but still coming to the club every single night he was Djing; mostly just getting high in the club and not bothering dancing but i told him to play me that track and id show him hehe.. such memories. Well, that was the club scene. The illegal forest scene was different ofc. I didnt catch up until too late, and only got to have 6-7 great goatrance parties in the forests around Malmö before everyone was doing the Progressive thing which at the time was so minimal that I couldnt understand how anyone could like it. without melodies, i mean, wtf. So I kinda left the scene only a few years after discovering it.

and with that you are saying... there are alot of linux fanboys? Sure, mililons of them. Theoretical megaflops showoff is fun and games, I agree. Kudos to them for havin a laugh!

Yes it helps getting it out there. To talk about it. Feels like I am more real, and not so abstract.. and before anyone says anything i am seeing both a psychiatist and a psychodynamic therapist, and have already been thru a CBT therapist aswell. Thanks for reading all of it, didnt expect anyone to actually do that

there is a registry entry to change colors . done in 1 minute. but win10 is still shiet. really really really bad. and ive played with PCs since dos 5. so , at least id like to THINK i know a bit or two about how MS OS's are built and how they work - its not like linux with its kernel - but very similar. Linux users often complain that altering MS os's are "impossible" or "limited" and that you are "more free" with linux systems. Well, im always the one to disagree on that and usually win the argument cus linux is a worthless piece of dirt and will never be useful for ANYTHING except hacking. and thats only because you can become a complete ghost with linux ,and be completely invisible on the internet. this is why most hacks and or cracks are used on linux. but, for the most part No photoshop, no cubase/logic/protools, no real pc gaming experience, poor GUI fps, - and those points usually kills it for most. and to people talking about the alternatives to photoshop and cubase, heh, okay, pretend they are just as good all you want, they just arent.

thats cool paul, were all different, and i guess i was just projecting as i said i might be doing. thanks for the reply. have a good one

another impossible question but this is what keeps me coming back here, even after so many fukups. we just love talking trance and hey, one of the best things ever so.. thanks psynews. Also some excellent suggestions. Yall got taste. Echo Plantation (Vibrasphere<3), Nexus 6 (Silicon Sound<3) and Dream Creator (Human Blue<3) So I definately feel at home here.. anyhoo i can name you my favorite psychedelic track, i think, but not album.. track would be https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GKrF721e05Q Noosphere - Carpe Noctem, without hesitation. No single track is so mind expanding (i.e psychedelic) than that one for me. One of those rare gems randomly found on a Goa Head volume.. Just when it started to sound bad.

thats the spirit! time to say goodnight for me. been up since 09 am so 16 hours or so, and i aint done sht today. Literally have parked my ass in front of this machine on this thing called internet all freaking day. but ive only drunk 4-5 light beers all day. Used to be 6-7 xtra strong ones, and well, i dont have to remind you of my earlier rants and raves and emo topics. ugh. fukin get chills thinking bout it. go easy with the booze kids, itll mess u up. and no its not just something people say and no youre not safe from it (not you starkraver, anyone) and it CAN happen to you aswell. but im not gonna go all preachy either, not my style, everyone must make their own decisions. but since i made so many bad ones in my life, i guess i feel a duty now to at least try and help people not repeat my misery of a life, cant even call it a life . mostly a blur. but i didnt wanna spoil your fun or anyone elses so night night, old familiar avatars..... and well, for what its worth, im sorry to any and all i offended in the past, and obviously most of all, just straight embarrassed. but its in the past and the past is abstract and only exists in ones mind and is different for everyone. my past in my mind, my memories etc, is mine and mine alone so, i guess im talking to myself atm. sometimes u gotta talk some sense to yourself i guess. so .. yeah. hi sense. goodnight sense. hopefully see you tomorrow again, and this time, please go easy on the anxiety bit, getting reeeal old now its been three weeks already. leave me be guy, whoever you are or whatever you are. i think i need an excorsicm cus this is out of this world. well, i was saying goodnight so what im a doing still talking to you? stfu? helloooo... ok, thatll be all thank you. and to all the americanos, have a great day cause in CET its 00:53 and time for bed for little boys and girls like me. fuk that sounded creepy. thats not what i meant you nasty thinking mind! ok this is getting silly and redicoulous. go to bed. youre tired. youre talking to yourself , on a live public forum , why? im alone as hell, and ive just woken up from a 15 year long sedation. i guess all i need is some friendly words. okey then. well, your a good guy at heart, and you care about earth, animals , and people. and you hate war and stuff. youre basically a hippie man... nah im not, but i get what u mean. thanks. peace out from me myself and I! oh and windows 10 guys, i tried getting used to it, cause my new laptop doesnt recognize the hdd when i try to install win 7 so im forced to use win 10 until i open that shit up and put in a proper ssd disk so i can use win 7. but wait. i cant. no drivers for anything. sound will work, but no network, no wifi, and no chipset drivers either. so yeh. stuck with win10 and no way to turn off 100% of Microsofts spyware. and if you didnt know already i reeeallly recommend you google something like "windows 10 botnet" or "disable windows 10 spyware" and you get the idea. things to be done in gpedit.msc, regedit, and services.msc. if you dont want every bit of data on your computer sent to MS servers that is. I sure as heck dont want that. also if you use cortana, well, just know that every single key you press goes right into Ms servers, in a little virtual server thats reserverd for every computer with win 10 on it, so its like google and their privacy policy on steroids. which means no privacy, ofc. dont believe me? k. read the MS EULA and TOS on win 10. everything is in cleartext. the spyware is confessed, the data collection is confessed, the keylogging is confessed, right there in the official documents pertaining to win 10. no hoax no conspiracy so... yeah. if u can, avoid win10 at all times. i have to have a massive fukin firewall and a secure VPN connection on at all times everytime i wanna use my laptop which is inconvenient because the firewall asks me every time svchost wants to do something, and well, that happens like 2 times a minute. but hell, i aint gonna let ms know shit about me if i can help it. NOW go to bed you crazy moron,

hey all. been a while feels like a lifetime ago so much has changed in my life for the better although im feeling at my absolute worst. Ill just run thru my story, as short as i can which probably will be a novel anyway, and share some what ive learned from it etc. If youre not in the mood for the whole wall of text thing, or lack interest on the subject and the experience of a 15 year long addiction then please leave thread so that you dont leave bad comments that are negative, thats not really what its for. So.. enjoy a story of the life of a stranger who ended up in the claws of addiction, or dont. Whatever. But Feel free to share your story anyway. It feels good to get it on "paper" and sharing is caring. Peace. Male, 33 years old, grew up happy, well behaved, polite, lots of love at home, many friends, all good so far. At 17 i had a big friend circuit and cannabis obviously snuk in, into my life. It was unavoidable. So hell yes I tried it. I was very very excited and happy to try it, peer pressure or anything like that was not on the radar. I remember looking at one of my best buds at the time, he had such a smile that i felt, damn... I wanna try that, I wanna have that smile too. So yeah, I became an avid cannabis user. This continued for about 6-7 years but more about that later. I was 18 now, and me and another mate started to explore nature for legal and illegal ways to get high. Yeah, might sound wierd but that was like our hobby for a while. And we actually found out alot that could make us high, but after a while we just said, fuckit, and did Acid instead. Started with 1/4 of a blotter - which happened to be Hoffman 2000 a.k.a Hoffman Millenium which of course was a tribute to Albert Hoffman and had the original logo of the first blotter, but updated for the year 2000. But it actually came out in 1999 IIRC. It was strong acid so we were well smart to try out 1/4 each at first. It wasnt intense to the point of discomfort at all, it was the best experience of my life - to date, it was .. hmm, can barely headcount, but you can. 16 years or so I suppose. That is a fukin long time ago.. damn.. anyway, we loved it, so we did it again. And again. Of course we upped the dosage after trying it for 2-3 times, so we did half a trip. By this time I was completely immersed in the experience - and I began preaching almost, to my friends, that Acid has made me wiser, happier, and I dont have a worry in the world, and everything is just perfect. And it actually was, too. So I wasnt lying or anything, I was genuin with all my intentions but in hindsight, it might seem like I pushed a hazardous material onto about 10 people. So I suppose I could be guilty of crimes, should anyone of them had a bad trip, die, or something like that. It would have been my fault. Luckily everyone took low enough doses to all enjoy it. At least those that I was close with who I said YOU GOTTA TRY THIS. So since I was like, I dunno, the one orchestrating the LSD movement in our group of friends (sounds redicoulous but it was like that when i really think about it) I of course was the one to try the full blotter, and I did. So did my mate who I first tried acid with, since we were comfortable with eachother, and we hadnt even seen or heard of a bad trip before - it was just "rumors and hearsay" to us - it couldnt happen to us - Acid this wonderful thing - bad trip? Whaaat? No way. But oh so stupid kids can be... and yes, if ur 18 ur a fukin runt bro, and we were fuking kids. I know there are alot of different types of people some mature early, some dont, but in a safe environment - you stay kids longer. Which of course is healthy for you, but in a rough environment you are forced to mature early so I can only speak for myself and my generation, in my area. And when I mean safe I dont mean we didnt get into fights, had hoodlums running around our hood, shit like that, that happened most definatley, robbery and all that - I mean safe like a loving home, not a country of war, no government in your business, and you feel free. Well, that night we took a full hit each, and after two hours I thought "fuck, these are really strong". It was a new batch. While I was thinking this I was looking into the air having mad visuals. I wouldnt call the visuals on LSD as hallucinations - because you dont see things that dont exist - you still see reality but it is heavily distorted. Walls boiling, flowing, floor feeling like its tilted and youre about to fall, and prominent perceptual distrubances - but not hallucinations per se. Anyway My mate came to me with another half of a blotter, and since I was so high, feeling a bit lost which was new to me, since I had always retained control completely over the trip - but now I felt like I kinda lost control a bit, lost time here and there, and it felt wierd. But not bad. Not yet anyway. So Í took the half and he did also. Apparantly he had a much stronger capacity for the effects or I was just extra sensitive, but we had totally different experiences. I lost time now all the time, and I felt I lost touch with reality to suddenly appear back in my couch again, with mates around me and music blasting. And that went on for a while, and I felt even more wierd, so I stood up. That triggered something because the next thing that happened was complete ego death - time was an abstract term that lost all meaning. Anyone who hasnt experienced this cannot use their intellect to try and imagine it. It doesnt work you have to feel it yourself and I dont recommend it. So yeah, I was lost completely, and was shifting in and out of reality faster and faster until I had a feeling of sheeer terror and horror - this came from nowhere, I couldve had an awesome experience but I dont know why - but the trip flipped on me, into a nightmare, which to this date, echoes in my mind. Ill not go into too much detail of the actual LSD trip that went sour, I mean, details are redundant. It was a really bad trip. Thats all I need to say.. The next day, things in my head was not put back together - it was like a jigzaw puzzle with missing pieces. I felt that way for a few days, then I shunned it, ignored it, tried to believe its going to pass, Ill just have to wait it out. Now I know what I felt was Depersonalization and Derealisation. But I didnt have a clue then, I was just a stupid kid who thought LSD was the most epic thing ever. Well, after that I lived a few years in denial, kept smoking, started taking Ecstacy and started taking Bensos. I seriously do not lie when I say I must have eaten about 200 Ecstacy pills during those years and well over 1000s of different bensos. Recepie for a fucked up life of course, but I didnt know, didnt wanna know, and didnt wanna think about it. So in 2003 when I stopped taking any type of drug because I started having anxiety and shit, and everything reminded me of that horrible LSD trip, I quit and hoped for the best. After about two weeks of escalating anxiety and realisation that I had became a victim of both DPD and HPPD - which are both common to have at the same time if it is caused by drugs. Well, I wouldnt wish it on my worst enemy. So I started drinking. Heavily. Which eleviated the symtoms while intoxicated, so I could feel feelings again, cry, laugh, etc. And it felt real, but in hindsight, I was just drunk all the time so none of it was real. Sigh. At least I remember some of my life from that point and I have at least one or two good memories, but mostly shit. So I became a drunk pretty much, what else could I do? In 2008 I was hellbent on quitting alcohol. It had came to the point where I had 6 7,5% alcohol beers every night. At least. That amount right now would be impossible for me to drink, as I would puke after the third one, but then it was like nothing. It was like food, and water, it was necessery for me to live. but still, I felt that alcohol was now causing problems and i just had to quit. I tried but failed, and I said to myself, okay, ill quit the booze, go on bensos for the first few weeks to stay safe from convulsions, delirium tremens and other alcohol withdrawal dangers. So thats what I did. I bought 100 Valium and 100 Rivotril(Klonopin) and planned to take two of each every day. this was probably the most stupid thing ive done in my life, because those 200 pills just poof disappeared after only a few days, and I couldnt figure out where they went. I kept looking for them .... I was now a walking benzo-zombie. After a few thousand pills (not joking.) the effect started to go away and I sobered up, even though I could eat 50 valium at any given time without feeling more than slight anxiety relief. So my tolerance was thru the roof, and the dangers of withdrawal from Benzos are similar to those of Alochol. So now what the fuck was I gonna do? Well, I quit cold turkey, and started drinking again, the benzos became too expensive so I had to. Then I got the classic Benzo Withdrawal Syndrome, which I advice to wiki if you want to, and it lasted for about.. well, the acute phase lasted about a year, but remnants are still not gone. Skip forward to 2013. I end up in the emergency room for dropping my alcohol consumtion too quick aka withdrawal, and had heart rate of 150+ and was literally dying if I hadnt went to the E.R. The pumped me full of vitamin B1 because the lack of that Vitamin had caused me to stop drinking a few months before, but i tried my best to taper, like half the amount every other day or so. The symtoms of B1 vitamins are mostly memory problems, tingligng and numbing sensations in your extremities, and if it goes further - can lead to permanent delirium a.k.a Wernicke-Korsakoff Syndrome. I was VERY VERY close to this, at least thats what the doctor said, after checking my blood for the vitamin. So three days later, and about 10 shots of vitamins and hundreds of mg of valium, I was let loose again. This time without any addiction. I had finally made it! That shit lasted about 3 months until I noticed Tramadol. Wow I was in love. For you who dont know its one of the lesser potent opioids, some people dont even feel effect, but some people get massive euphoria from it. It also is a powerful SNRI. So for me, it treated both depression and anxiety. I thought I could take this for the rest of my life and life a happy life. That shit lasted about three months aswell, until I was at like 2 grams / day. This is extremely dangerous because Tramadol has an extremely high chance of causing Grand Mal attacks, and worse case scenario - which happens all the time - you choke on your tounge in your sleep and die. but i didnt even realise I was risking my life every single day. Its strange what addiction does to you. It really has a hold of you and your thoughts. You arent even you anymore, you are just the drug. Well, since I couldnt afford Tramadol anymore, I swithed to Suboxone, until that stopped working, I swithced to Subutex - ah - this is where its at. Threee momths later AGAIN (3 months seem to be an opioid threshold or something, when it stops working properly) and I stopped taking it simply because again, it became too expensive. Well, I didnt expect what happened after that, the withdrawal from Subutex, well, living hell doesnt cover it. My anxiety was quadrupled and that was now 1 month ago, that Im sober, but the anxiety hasnt subseeded yet. Now Im drinking a few light-beer per day and 1-2mg Alprazolam, just to keep anxiety at bay, so I feel Im not an addict anymore, since Im able to not take more than what I decide to take - and that is an amazing feeling - but the anxiety, I mean, even if I took 10mg alprazolam( xanax) it wouldnt help more than 1-2mg so, its no point. The anxiety is stronger than the bensos. I actually got so desperate after a week I took Subutex again, just to stop the withdrawal, and then I would taper it. But even more Sub didnt work . That kinda scared me and I got to thinking that, fuck, even Subutex doesnt work now, and my anxiety is worse than ever, and its been 15 years, I mean, wtf is this life? so well, im off drugs now 3-4 weeks except 1-2mg alpra and 3-4 light beers (3,5% alcohol / 50 cl) which isnt much and doesnt get me drunk, just kills the anxiety about 5% - which is hardly nothing, but enough to survive and to not go psychotic cause the anxiety just wont go away. I mean its like a physical entity now, stuck to me, craving all my energy and it literally feels like some kind of demon is attached to me like a parasite and it will not let go, and it drags me and pulls me down, so I cant go anywhere, litarally just going to the store to get groceries which is 200m away drains me completely. Also my body temp has been about 1 degree lower than normal for the duration of this withdrawal.. My feet are still stonecold and wont heat up and im seriously starting to worry that something vital in my body is causing this, i.e that I fucked something up badly this time, and now my body has had enough and is letting go. Also, I lost 10kg the two first weeks, because the anxiety made it impossible to both eat and sleep. The first weeek I was awake for four days straight, cause the anxiety wouldnt let me sleep. thats when I started taking alpra and some beer, just to get some fuking sleep. But when I slept, it was like half an hour at a time, so couldnt get any real rest. Luckily, the past week Ive gained back 5 kg, ive slept pretty decent, but every minute of every day im awake the anxiety is sitting on my stomach like a stomach cramp, and I dont know how to treat it really.. I feel I have zero options left, but to ride it out and hope body heals of it self after a while. Seeking medical attention is something im wawiting to do until the bitter end when I am actually feeling like im dying for real - because my 20 times or so visiting doctors, trying out all the fucking non-addictive medications there is and nothing working - Youd also not be so keen on seeking medical attention. Since 100% of the times you did - you did recieve zero help. So thats my story, a fucked up life, which I destroyed myself for some reason, and now that Im completely sober for the first time in my entire life, (I dont count the small dosage of alpra and beer atm, since they have only a marginal effect on me, and since Im not abusing it, I feel im not addicted to it - otherwise I would drink myself drunk each night, and take much more alpra. But im not. I am deciding to suffer the anxiety sober - but that is sadly mostly because I dont know what to do. Since nothing works anymore, and Im never going to end up with a needle in my arm, Id rather die than that, tbh, so Ive reached a brick wall - and the anxiety is almost driving me mad at this point. How the fuck can you have intense physical and mental anxiety, for weeks on end without any relief, at all? I mean sure, after 1mg of alpra and 2 beers its like 5% better, but thats it, so its hardly worth doing at all, and its probably only even placebo at this point anyway - so wtf to do. Ending my life isnt possible, also heavier opioids is not possible - but being sober and having this much anxiety isnt possible either. I really dont know how long I can take it, before ending up in the psychward for real this time. Sigh. But hey. Thats life huh? edit: I should add I tried 4 types of SSRI, two types of SNRI, 1 type of tetracyclic antidepressants, Atarax and Lergigan which are common antihistamines, actually the latter is from the antipsychotic family of drugs but is mostly an antihistamine aswell, so bascically sugarpills but i cant lie, lergigan helps me sleep so im thankful for that. I dont know what Lergigan is called in your country and im too tired now to google it so if you wanna know you know what to do. All i know its part of the same family of drugs that of the very strong antipsychotics like Thorazine - but extremely low antipsychotic action, and very high antihistamine action. So maybe thats why it has a nice subtle sleep inducing effect. Im thankful for the small things. Atarax which is the most commonly prescribed anti-anxiety medication in Sweden for anyone who ever has had any type of addiction - is like taking air but with sideeffects. It is basically an allergy medication like any old antihistamine you get over the counter. For some reason its prescription only in swe, but its like a joke. And in Sweden - if we have had some sort of history with addiction, bensos are pretty much unavaliable, and sometimes that is what you need so you are forced to the black market for your medication needs here in Sweden. This is true for me and possibly a million other Swedes, and thats not a joke either. And its pretty much exlcusively eastern-europe made drugs- so you might get nothing, and you might get the real thing. Real proper sealed bottles or packs are very hard to get if you dont physically now someeone who actually gets the prescription and doesnt use him/herself. So the odds of getting proper quality meds are low. For some reason the only benso you can get here in Sweden that is proper for sure, is Klonopin, (klonazepam/rivotril) which is a very very poor choice for anxiety due to its low anti-anziety properties but very high musclerelaxant and anti-epileptic action. So you basically just get really slow and tired from it, and dont really get much relief, at leaat not for me and many others. The best antianxiety medication Ive tried, which happens to be the weakest benzo there is in term of potency per mg, is Oxazepam, and that is impossible to get on the black market - and paradoxaly impossible to get from the doctor too, unless you have MAD skills in lying and decieving your doctor. Because no doctor in their right mind (id say wrong mind but hey , i guess im wrong..) would prescribe a possibly addictive medication to a prevoius abuser. Even if the doctor KNOWS his patient is just going to get alcohol and buy black market shit bensos - so its just a vicious circle and the whole system is backwards.

just so yall know (intelligent rant incoming, prepare for wall of text.) like 60% of the symtoms of both ADHD and Aspergers - are completely normal human emotions/reactions. Please do not under estimate (rather; over estimate) yourselves, and do not consider yourself sick and put a label on it, like most cases regarding ADHD and Aspergers. Of course there are alot of people that do suffer from those diagnoses, i said 40%, which is alot - but it also means one hell of alot of kids especially, are given serious drugs which are close to the effect of Amphetamine -which do not need it and might suffer brain damage which will cause terrible symtoms as adults. I know most of you are intelligent beeings and already know this, but it doesnt hurt to say it whenever possible. Again; Just because you have symtoms that of especially ADHD - does NOT mean you are sick at all. It could be such easy things as not enough excercise. Wrong diet. Wrong people in your life. Literally too many things to list. And our brains will not tell us what the problem is - if it did - psychiatry wouldnt exist. We would just heal ourselves directly when we face a problem. Oh - I cant eat this food. Damn I gotta excercise more. Just to name two examples. And, if you listen to your subconscious - which is very possible to do - you will get the answers you need - you just have to find them, and hear them. First thing that happens - when you DO see what your problem really is - the brain will instantly go into defensive mode, and will do its best to play it off as "im just having a bad day" .. or "didnt sleep well last night". Those things might be true, but the underlying cause is something else, and the brain for some strange fucking reason, will do everything in its power to NOT let you know. I know this both empirically and by reading books, alot of them. Im not just "that wiki guy who thinks he knows psychiatry". Im no doctor, but Ive suffered mentally for 15 years while retaining my Self and who I am; as an observer. Hence; I have never had psychosis or anything like that, because when you do, ones Self eludes and cannot be trusted anymore, which is why Schizcophrenia is of course the worst possible condition known to mankind, imo. Worse than any other illness like Cancer or even Sudden Death. Like stroke, heart attack, etc. If you recover thats great! If you dont at least you wont suffer. That might be morbid as fuck, but that is what i genuinely believe. Call me a cynic if you want, I am one. But mental illness, REAL mental illness, is not having a few symtoms and thinking you are sick. Thats not it at all. Thats just a human being beeing a human being. Sorry wordplay not intended. My point is, too many kids are diagnosed with ADHD, when ADHD is infact, sorry to say, in most cases, a bogus diagnoses. Its just , and now it gets a bit conspirical but unfortunately true, so that doctors can push these drugs and make shitloads of money from endorsements by Major pharma. I dont intend to sound like a conspiracy theorist, but this is proven without a doubt, and the best form to learn about it is to watch a couple of credible documentaries. Should you be interested in one such documentary, that deals with fraud and bogus diagnoses within Psychiatry and the mulitbillion dollar industry that is Big Pharma - just ask.. Ive probably read 10 books on Psychiatry, all the classics and some a bit wierd, and id say over 100 documentaries dealing with humanity overall, so personally I consider myself knowledgable on this subject. Both empirically as I said, due to my mental illness that has been active for about 15 years, but also serious studying on the subject. The only reason I started to study was of course after the 7th visit to the psychward's emergencyroom with acute panic attacks, and not been given any help because I'd been drinking just to not kill myself - they shunned me completely and I was lucky just to get an SSRI prescribed. So my personal experience with psychiatry might be biased towards the negative side - but thats not entirely true, because I can understand that no doctor in the world can tell the difference from a real symtom - or a symtom caused by alcohol abuse. But in sweden, we are just being shunned and forced to leave the emergency room. If we refuse and cry for example, which i did on my 7th attempt at seeking help, they had to call security, and basically kick me out the building and threatened to call the police if i didnt go home and sober up, and they welcomed me back tomorrow while sober. While I understand them and their policy - a person in that condition which I was in; should be taken care of. They shouldve forced me to stay - not forced me out. They shouldve fucking cuffed me to a hospital bed, give me vitamins, give me some Diazepam to sleep, sober up, then deal with me. Anyone with a little tiny bit of sense realise this. But yet Swedish psychiatric care, especially in larger cities (larger by our scale anyway) do not take patients seriously, they do not believe them, they underdiagnose, they underestimate - and guess what happens.. Suicide. I dont know how many people who commit suicide just hours after seeking help. But its too many. Its probably 50 people every year or more, in Sweden, that kill themselves after being shunned by the psych-emergencyward. I got off on a rail there, but please dont believe everything your doctor tells you, for one simple reason. He or She is NOT inside your head and do NOT know exactly what it is you are feeling. Even if you bring out the books they have to read in order to become doctors in psychiatry, point to the symtoms in the book - theyll most likely just think you are a "know-it-all" and a "googler" which of course is extremely offending. What is the difference if you learn truth from youtube, wiki, documentaries, books, - or by a teacher? Its the same god damn truth aint it. That said - if you are young, you should probably trust the doctor and do what he or she says, but the worst thing is when you are a kid and the doctor barely see the kid, and just goes by mum and dad "he is soo overactive" .. "we cant get him to sleep" .. "we dont know what to do" Guys, it has ALWAYS been like this. 60s kids turned out fine! FFS we have them to thank for learning about love and peace. 70s kinds turned out fine! 80s kids turned out.. well, I know alot of sick people that were born in the 80s tbh. dunno what happened in the 80s. 90s kids are fine! They are more active and more "lets go!" than my generation which is more laid back, but thats just great! 00s kids are fine! They are more mature than we were, heck , i see 15 year old kids now, acting like we did when we were in our twenties. They have Internet integrated in their system since birth, hence early knowledge and earlier maturity, 10s kids is gonna be fucked up tho, cus they grow up in a world thats full of deciet, lies, and general anxiety and fear. This is of course orchestrated by the Elite, who want a more frightened and easily manipulated population. And they'll probably get it too. I can totally imagine sitting in an elderly home somewhere in my 60s (i dont plan on living longer than 60-70) or in a house in the woods with just me and my music; whatever it might be - and by then Ill be a total selfish, cynical - dont give a fuck type of person, while all the kids and young adults suffer and have horrible lives all around me. I can already feel it happen. But its not too late, we just gotta realise that we the people , have all the power we need to change the world into a world that we will thrive in, not suffer in. its pretty basic. If the world around you is fucked, either you become extremely tough and coldhearted and probably a warrior, hopefully with good intentions - or a passive nobody just doing what people tell you... and i suspect the intl. suicide rate will go up exponentially by the year 2020 and beyond. Or it wont. who knows. All im saying is ,dont overdiagnose yourselves, and dont let any doctor do it either. Remember that most cases, ADHD is a BS diagnoses, and you are perfectly normal. Aspbergers is not something you "think" you have either. Its one of those things you either have, or dont have. Now im going to tell you a story about Schizhophrenia, its a familiar story to those who know about the illness first hand, but also its pretty much a textbook example. Just like a psychosis. You cant say or talk to someone while in a psychosis and say "damn. I wish I wasnt psychotic and having these hallucinations right now... its really fucking bumming me out". That is impossible. Why? Because the person cannot diffirentiate their hallucinations with the real world. This is why psychosis is so sad, and Ive seen it in my childhod friend, how it started, how it developed, and how it blew up in a fullon Schizhophrenia. In the beginning, he treated is psychosis with proper meds, he gained ALOT of weight from being a skeleton to looking a bit too healthy - but he was okay mentally. He was present, you could really see that he wasnt having any wierd thoughts or hallucinations. He seemed normal and I hung out alot with him during those two years he was on his meds. We talked alot about his sickness, I asked questions like, "what does it feel like" and stuff like that, because I was curious and I wanted to hear his own words explin it, so i could trust that he was sane. I was always a bit un-easy around him but he was my friend and i spent alot of time with him and it was special both for me, for him, and even his parents talked to me in private, saying that they appreciate me hanging with thier son, keeping him company. I was surprised and just said "of course he is my friend" at the time, but of course later i realised, that they really ment it because whenever he didnt take his meds. All hell broke lose. Inside his head, and his family suffered alot. His younger brother was FORCED to move out, because of the terror his brother, my friend, put him through when he was off his meds. When I say terror I dont mean any physical harm or nothing, but constant conversations about stuff that dont exist - other than inside the head of his brother. Just imagine having a brother live in a room 2 meters across the hallway, that is full blown psychotic. You are always on your guard and you cannot relax, and he just had to move out. This was a tough blow for my friend because his little brother was the only person in the world he could trust while being psychotic. Hi didnt trust his parents, he was sure they were "in on it". So. The parents had to call the police that I know of, at least 3 times - to come and collect him, put him in the closed psychward, and force him to take his meds. Literally hours after meds kicked in, he was like "wtf am i doing in the hospital, what even happened??" - just imagine that feeling for a moment. After a while, talking to a nurse, he understood that he had developed schizhophrenia and became depressed. I saw him once after that, he was off his meds, and I said to him, I shouted even " TAKE YOUR MEDS, PLEASE!!! YOU ARE SICK!! PLEASE!!!" but it was lost in the wind. He didnt hear me. "I was with them". Since its not against the law to NOT take your meds if you are not causing harm to anyone, unfortunately, the story ends here, with my friend, the psychotic, which will not take his meds because he doesnt realise he is sick. He had been off hids meds once before he got the diagnoses, first it was labeled as "post-acute drug induced psychosis" i think, because he had beeen smoking hasch - and was put on antipsychotics, and he responded very well to the medication - everyone was happy about that, and the story couldve ended there instead, but like i said, i was with him that day, when he didnt take his meds, and the psychosis returned like clockwork, but it wasnt so severe that I could in fact ask him "bro did you take your meds today?" and the look in his eyes was black, his skin was white, and he was in coldsweat, looking like a walking panic-attack. This is a very uneasy thing to be around because it rubs off on you, making you question your own sanity. So I felt really bad that day told him, "if you dont take your meds I cant be your friend..." and he did actually go and take his meds, took a shower, came back down, had his good ol face back, told me, "omg, im sorry, did i do or say anything wierd today??" i was like, well it was okay but please dont forget to ever take your meds, those are vital, without them you are not yourself and you feel really bad. And he looked like it really sank in. And he felt relieved. Sat on his bed and just took a few breaths. I was comforting him by saying its okay, just take ur meds, its gonna be allright. And that was that, everything was okay. Then I left to go live abroad for a year when I came home I was told he had been diagnosed schizho, wouldnt take his meds, and there was no way to force him to do so since he wasnt violent anymore. He didnt have "psychotic breaks" but was psychotic all the time basically. So there was no way I could see him, He was locked in his room with the shades down, for years and years. This was , oh, 6 years ago maybe, and as far as i know, he is still in his childhood house, his room, locked in and living entirely in his own world. Such an extremely sad case to witness, I knew him since we were 6 years old. We were friends for more than 15 years. So I witnessed up close the transformation from a little odd, but basically just a kid, to being more and more wierd, and then psychotic, and then the diagnose. And all he needs is his meds, and I know he is fine. Just that he wont take them. He will not eat the food his parents cook in fear of them putting the meds in the food - so he continously calls his brother, almost 2-3 times a day, asking him to buy food for him. I feel so sorry for his brother too, since he is the most normal person in the family. He didnt deserve the burden of having a brother like that. Noone does. But thats life. Im sure he is just happy he isnt sick like his brother.

how much did it go for, just curious. i love that plugin alot, so id rather buy than pirate, if i could afford it, that is. thats why im asking. cheers.

for me it has been a poor year for goatrance, havent really dived into the albums like i used to. but I reckon it would be VA - The world beyond, and the Opale EP. im still hankering for the next big Globalsect release... or did I miss it? of course new artifact303 and nova fractal wouldnt hurt.. but yes, for me, bad year for goatrance.

paul, youre not alone thats for sure. youre just human, open minded, and without filter. possibly triggered by taking LSD in your teens? smoking cannabis? psychedelics can really mess up the neural pathways and while under the influence of say LSD - things get really un-done in the brain on a biological level - and when LSD is supposed to wear off after about 12-24h - some nerual pathways are left un-done and wont go back to their original and "meant to be" state. This can cause myriad of syndromes. Panic Disorder, HPPD, Antisocial behaviour, severe anxiety, and more. Depersonalization and Derelaization are common symtoms that wont go away. I dunno. Maybe im just projecting. but your 'story' is very familiar to me, we are the same age, and i dunno, I just felt we had something big in common but I can be entirely wrong. my 'solution' for the past 15 years or so has pretty much been which coincidently is my new favorite song ever. until the next one comes along.

just as long as everyone is clear that Prog-trance, and prog-psytrance are two VERY different genres... thats the most important thing. progressive psy is the first option you gave us. Ticon, Son Kite, Vibrasphere, etc (no, im not being bias cus there all swedes, cant help we invented it) their early shiet gave birth to it when goa died in 2002. And of course I had massive hatred because everytime I went to parties it was like going from parties full with Talamasca, Astral, Chiad, and countless others - from one night to the other hearing shiet like early Spirallianz, Ticon and Son Kite. I was like WTF on the dancefloor and waited for melodies that never came. They never came! So, thanks Jannis (yet another Swede, what a coincidence) for also realising this and being first on the horn to say STFU to all that noise and bringing Goa back. Thanks bro. edit: i like the prodigy MFTJG album cover from the guy above. my first album, or at least the first 5; bought as an early teen. Had that shit made on a A3 (ca double letter for you americans) sheet of paper and had it on my wall for like 9 years. Props edit2: just want to add that I adore Vibrasphere, one of my alltime favorite artists, I even love their most "boring" tracks sometimes, but still cant help mentioning the fact that they "helped" in creating progressive psy. Just happens that they did it with style, class, talent, quality and extreme intelligence. I dont think most people realise how good their album Lime Structure actually is, as it can seem very "boring" the first listen or two and came out in 2003 - where every goa fan automatically hated on everything that wasnt goa including myself didnt appreciate Lime Structure until perhaps 2009 or so. Kinda the same corundum (dunno how to spell it sry) as people hating on AP - Amen when it came out - even though it is actually their best, most cleanly produced and mastered, most intelligent and wise melodies (ALOT of hidden notes in their melodies that your mind automatically fills in - its magic - try out Infinite Justice for example while youre on a melancholic or euophoric mood) and just top production overall - and definately their best album by a mile. I realise many AP fans will absolutely and wholehartedly disagree with that - but I believe the cause for that is simply you havent given it a chance. Trust me i was just like you , skipped thru the tracks and almost cried [WTF HAPPENED TO ASTRAL PROJECTION] but i decided to open my mind, put myself in their shoes, in their mindset, and i just got it. It just clicked. And Amen for me is probably in my top 5 albums ever made, which is a really really good achievement since I am a massive music fan all genres (almost) peace out.

dont like cyb*rnetika tracks very much, but have to say this one was mad proper. gonna have a vo*e when im done listening. (didnt wanna fukkup ur SW rot, so i blanked words. hah.) also wanna say damn shame i have been 'occupied' by IRL shiet since may or something, so havent been able to work on anything. maybe next time. peace.

original muses rapt - spiritual healing, when its all calm and the Piano melody starts. Thats a nice and long one. Evolving aswell, not just 4 bars repeating like most. but yeah there are longer melodies in tracks for sure. artifact303 - feelings has that one melody that is evolving and pretty long.. now that i think about it, i could probably go through my collection and find at least 10 tracks with melodies longer than 8 bars and even 16 bars for that matter. isnt Technossommy - VTOL one of those longer melodies also? pretty sure Cyan and Astral has one or two aswell. Also pretty sure Yahel and Talamsca has a few. damn what a pointless reply .. hi again btw.

allright then, fair enough. at least i asked. thanks anyway artists of psynews, peace

sigh. another interesting thread and convo just dying. seems like noone bothers to even try to keep threads going... oh well. im not gonna try alone so ill join the rest of you and just stay silent. thankfully there are alot of other forums that are very much active and interesting threads like this would not just die off like that, without even a response . .

I dont think swithing daws has anything to do with it, cubase is just fine Im using Nuendo myself which is Identical to Cubase when it comes to music production. But Im using an old version from 2009 because I cant afford to buy the latest one ;( Anyway, i just feel it lacks the subwoofer bass. I always use the Waves plugin called http://www.waves.com/plugins/loair#adding-bottom-end-to-synth-bass"Lo Air" and then change the preset to Low frequency mastering or something like that, I dont have anything installed atm so I dont remember exactly what it is called, then just dial down the knob in the middle all the way down, and then go up slightly until you are JUUUUSt clipping. The knob to the left is for the frequency so in your case I would add just a liiitle bit of "lo air" on the 70hz range, and another Lo air with the same preset as earlier, and adding just slightly more "air" to where you juuust clip (its ok if it clips actually as long as your channel doesnt clip and the main out doesnt clip) in the 100-110hz range. I think with this track I would use the 70hz range one on the kickdrum and the 100hz range on the main bassline. Im by no means an expert at mixing. But something I do know is that this plugin works wonders, when you need a bit more overall bass, and using an eq wont do, this plugin doesnt work like an eq at all. in some way i guess it could be called an exciter, but that would be wrong too. The best way to put it is actually it adds air to your bass So yeah. Good luck and take the suggestions or dont, your track is still good, and the mixing is very fresh i just thought maybe throwing this plugin at you, and have you play with it, will maybe make you go "oooh!" because its a really sweet arse plugin. I always use it on kick and bassline, hardly use any eq, for the low range at all any more, just mid and high range. For example the punch for the kick in the 120-150hz range an EQ is great, and likewise for the bassline but for the low range, 60hz and down, this plugin really works alot better than any EQ at those ranges. In my humble opinion. Thanks for reading!

yes, it was impossible to mix properly without a sub with those KRK ones i had. Was a shitty purchase. :/ They are just generally not good. And yup, Ive listened to both yamahas cheaper ones, alesis cheapest ones, and behringer mid-range ones (which qualifies for cheaper ones on other brands) and they all sound okay. Its just important for me that they go down to at least 30hz or something close to that. Haha wasnt mousepads a good idea though? Cheap and very effective And yeah, adding a sub to a monitor setup is a mess, alot more trouble and problematic if you have a small studio in your home. Sure, in a professional setting, why not, but at home, no, youre alot better off with just having a good pair with a nice deep bass to them instead. Completely agree. Im also pretty sure the Sub would lie to you in the beginning especially when mixing the kickdrum. It would probably feel awesome and hear awesome but then you go check it out on your reference setup (which for me is always poweramp in my SGS5 and my pair of pretty expensive plugin-headphones - where i know how everything should sound - everyone needs a reference listening environment, and it can be whatever you feel is where you know exactly how it should sound. Which of course will be the monitors jobs, once you get to know them) that your track lack alot of bass. And that the sub fooled you as hell. Also my KRK speakers fooled me all the time. Especially with the treble. So I had a really hard time getting to know them, and the mixing never came out good. but then again that was in 2006, now it would be a whole other story.

allright:) Yeah you are right I used to have a pair of KRK RP5, and while they where cheap and not very good, at least it was awesome to have a pair of active powerful speakers next to your screen. I used to put my monitors on 5-6 foam mousepads, like $1 each, just to eliminate any vibrations. I also had a very thick velvet curtains behind them. So I had a pretty good setup then, back in 2006. Now its just money issues as usual.. so my next monitors will probably be either yamaha, behringer, alesis or krk.. as long as i dont need an extra subwoofer (which i did with the RP5, they only went down to like 60hz or something... yours sound sweet going all the way down to 38hz!! awesome without a sub. and 50khz is just crazy I always cut all my tracks att 21khz with an eq, also cut everything below 30hz. The eq doesnt eliminate sounds in that range, but certainly limits them, making more room for dynamics thus being able to mix the track a bit louder without loss of dynamics. I use Waves R EQ2 x2 for this, in my mastering chain. I like those eqs for this purpose because they give a nice hi-pass and lo-pass curve. some EQs have way to big of a curve for this purpose.

Yeah, thats that Song Pong sound. But the other thing I mean is this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bWB5PSoV2I0&t=04m27s i marked the minute and second when the sound happens, what im talking about. with the phase cancellation or whatever, like i said i havent looked into it yet exactly, like the specifics - but this sound, is extremely stereo wide imho, sounds like it is in your head. and these sounds wont exist if you play on a mono speaker. And to use this effect there is a built in vst in both cubase and nuendo for it, also Waves have a plugin called InPhase which can do it, and much much more. Also this technique is what some use to extract song from a track, creating a leftover instrumental. But that will still cause remnants and artifacts.

those are the easiest kicks to make! if you wanna make it really easy, there is a VST called Bazzism. With just a little bit of tweakage, you get perfect nitzho kicks. Or you can make them yourself following that old classic Infected Mushroom kick tutorial using soundforge. but I usually go with Bazzism these days, just a great freakin kickdrum generator so to speak. it kinda works in the same way making it yourself in soundforge does, it just makes it really easier. http://www.ismism.de/BazzISM.htm and for 30 euro, I promise its worth it. you can make every psy/goa kicks with it. and the easiest ones to make are actually the nitzho kicks. good luck.

Either Reincarnation or "return to the source" to become part of the global consciusness and transcend into that realm, that many might call heaven. But i think many people chose reincarnation, either because they felt their life wasnt great and want to do it over again, unfortunately, they dont remember their previous life (some do, though, allegedly) so you dont know if you died already, how many times you died, and how many times you chose reincarnation the bonus of chosing reincarnation is that your soul grows wiser and older as you live diferent lives, sometimes you just feel when you talk to someone or even within yourself, that you have a young or an old soul. but if you dont want to reincarnate, you stay on your current level of soul evolution, and just become part of the Oneness of it all, and exist in a place without active consciousness, so you are not aware of your existance (imagine being aware for an eternity) but you still exist. so yeah, you get to choose. now, if you are pure evil since birth (which i believe very very few people are) you will automatically be reincarnated in a life full of misery and despair. and since you dont remember your previous life, you will not know why your life is full of constant misery, dispair, and pain. so in a way, its an unfair punishment. but THAT is what i think Hell is. i dont think there is another type of hell. but being forced to reincarnate and live in a world of misery and despair your whole life until you commit suicide. then you get another chance, to reincarnate and try again, and not be evil, or chose to become part of the oneness. but only those born evil are evil. those who are molded into evil will still get another chance i think.

One final bump Then Ill give up All I really want is some fractal/psychedelic design kinda like the image i found on google, just that it is an original I can call my own. The text and all that I can do on my own.

Yeah same here. Really dont see how this thread fits under General Psytrance.. should be more of an offtopic thread, and in fact, imho dont even exist, I dont like to speak on the dead in general. But of course, thats just my opinion. You are all welcome to do what you wish.