Avant Garde

Rick: *Burps* Oh geez, Morty, look at this guy, waxing poetic about basslines like he's discovered the meaning of life! "I like my basslines gritty and alive, Morty, not like those cold, calculated, surgically precise ones!" Yeah, because the bassline's out here on a journey of self-discovery. Like it’s *alive*, Morty! It's growin' up and learnin' lessons about life and love. Morty: I dunno, Rick, I mean, he kinda has a point, right? He just doesn’t like his bass to be, y'know, like… mechanical? He wants it to be more… human? Rick: Ohhh, Morty, you're killin' me. Yeah, I'm sure the *bassline* wants to feel like part of the band, man, just jammin' out with the other instruments. But hey, who cares about the rest of the music, Morty? We gotta make sure the *bassline* has character development! Morty: Yeah, and then he’s like, “Oh, those old compilations had emotions, Rick! So many *emotions*!” Like, what does he want? Does he want the bassline to cry, or something? Rick: "Oh no, my bassline doesn’t cry! It just pulsates, like a second kick drum! It’s got feelings too, Morty!" Dude, it’s music! Just let it *slap*, no one’s lookin’ for some existential crisis from a bassline. Morty: He’s kinda like, uh, bashing producers for obsessing over it, but then he’s like, “I think about it for a second, then I move on to *more important* things.” Like, uh, isn’t that what everyone’s doing, Rick? Rick: Exactly, Morty! "Oh, I don't wanna follow the rules, Morty, I wanna make my basslines do backflips and solve world hunger!" Yeah, congrats, buddy. You’re the messiah of psy-trance basslines now. Next thing you know, he’s gonna drop a TED Talk: “How I Rescued Basslines From Mediocrity and Saved EDM.” Morty: And what's with that dub music comparison, Rick? Like, he’s out here tryin’ to be *deep*. “Oh, the bassline is holdin’ dub music back!” No, dude, the bassline *is* the dub music. What’s he want, a sax solo with dolphins or somethin'? Rick: Oh geez, Morty, he's prob’ly sittin' there, sipping kombucha, stroking his neckbeard, thinkin’ about how *his* basslines are gonna *revolutionize* music history. Yeah, sure, let’s just throw out everything that’s worked and make basslines go to therapy. *Burps*