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Artist: Technodrome Title: Earthquake Label: Metatron Production Date: December, 2005 1. Kawabanga 2. April The Slut 3. Technologic 4. Earthquake 5. Bob the Demon 6. What's The Rush? 7. Turtle Power 8. Reset Dimension 9. Dickhead "The hope and survival of mankind rests on us!" Excuse me have you met us? We humans are woefully unqualified for this responsibility. Perhaps you have something in the social media field. We love to put our business out there. I have to believe this is the jewel in their crown. Everything I've heard from these guys since just hasn't measured up to their first album. Didn't one of them get arrested in India a while back? Tough to come back from that. Ask Michael Vick. Sigh...google him. Technodrome is the project of two Shays from Israel and their debut was a ground rumbler. Lasers, acid, and the unforgettable cover. I mean who doesn't love ninja turtles? It's full-on the whole way that realizes that it's still dance music and as such is supposed to elevate the heart rate. Most of it is four on the floor power trance without any cheese so if that's your thing this will appeal to you. Beatspace Digital Download

Artist: Bliss Title: The Rhythmus Gene Label: Phantasm Records Date: December, 2005 1. The Love Hack 2. No Gravity 3. Upside Down 4. The Rhythmus Gene 5. Dirty Boy 6. Pause 7. Tidal Waves 8. Monitor Access 9. Miracle Whip 10. Spaceless "Things don't always go the way we expect." Yonatan Marcow. Yonatan? Sounds like a Indian with a lisp. But yes Yonatan Marcow is the mind behind one of the fluffiiest, dare I say cavity causing, cotton candy, multicolored unicorn rainbow sh*tting albums ever made. He seems Israeli, but I suspect that this was made in Cloud Cuckoo Land under the watchful eye of Unikitty. "More melodies f*cker! Stay positive, more f*cking positivity!!" So...how to tackle this. Here's what you do. Find the largest black man you can find and just call him the n word. Right to his face. If you somehow survived this encounter what will undoubtedly have happened is multiple blows from his fists will have connected with your face and promptly removed a vast majority of your teeth. This is of course a more extreme method of reaching the same conclusion, but on the positive side I have saved you almost 80 minutes of your time. Time is money and you will now need said saved money for the extensive dental reconstruction. You're welcome. But seriously... Nope, nothing serious about this. This is eating a whole bakers dozen of Krispy Kremes by yourself. It felt good going down, but now you feel sick and have explosive diarrhea. It's full-on to it's very, very, sweet core right from the first B-52's sample and after finishing it there will be shame. Perhaps you'll go for a long walk in the rain because you think that that is what you deserve. Alone, to gather your thoughts and breakaway from this destructive shame spiral. But the shame is thick, make no mistake you will wallow in it. And there will be self loathing. And then shame again. Sure you'll throw on some intelligent music. Maybe some Hallucinogen in an attempt to wash off the stink. But you know what? I'll do it all over again. This is my secret, guilty pleasure. When I'm with my friends (please, I don't have any friends) I'll chuckle along with them and make fun of this. Then when I get home I'll lock my door, turn it up and let it howl. The sound is excellent with lasers, acid, and pounding bass lines on full display. The melodies are highly euphoric with multiple layers. Halfway through, I shame regurgitate in my mouth, but I will see this through. I will not let that shame define me. I shall wallow in it and make it my own. Delicious, delicious shame and self-loathing.