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Artist: Various Title: The Usual Suspects Parts 1 & 2 Label: Blue Tunes Records Date: July & August, 2011 Part 1 1. Downtown (Nok Remix) 2. Sexy Dance (Moon & DJ Fabio Remix) 3. True Reality (Interactive Noise Remix) Part 2 1. Sexy Dance (Ritmo Remix) 2. True Reality (Vaishiyas Remix) 3. Ask For Permission (Phaxe Remix) Originally I was going to talk about hand jobs to start this review, but I felt that might be going too far. No, no, no...my fault entirely. I'll see myself out. What the hell dude, I just wanted to read a review, what the f*ck is this? If there was ever an album that begged for a remix it was this underwhelming snoozefest. Very rarely do I dump a CD after I get it, but the Wotanowski brothers have earned that distinction with their album the Usual Suspects. I'll spare you any number of puke gifs to hammer the point home, but here's my review of that beer coaster http://www.psynews.org/forums/index.php?/topic/60400-symphonix-the-usual-suspects/page__hl__symphonix__fromsearch__1 The cast of characters lining up for their shot is fairly impressive so let's see what they can do when the bar was set very low. Downtown (Nok Remix)- This is Alexander Dorkian (not making that up) and while he has made some great tracks in the past, he must be too close to the brothers because this was far from his shining moment. No evolution or depth whatsoever. Same old boring crap. Just keeps going round and round and round... Sexy Dance (Moon & DH Fabio Remix)- How can anyone enjoy the track with that b*tch talking over it? No, I don't want to dance, I want you to shut the f*ck up. Keep talking and you'll force me to put my hands on you. And not in a nice way. "Go fix me chicken pot pie b*tch!" True Reality (Interactive Noise Remix)- I like the music better with more effects as it makes it a quantum leap forward from the original steaming pile, but stop with the f*cking talking already! When you touch me in the eye? Exactly what I want to do, but in my version it leaves a racetrack around your eye. Better go get a pack of frozen peas b*tch. Knockout. This is really sad. Sexy Dance (Ritmo Remix)- "All I see it the flashing lights." This is what this music feels like to me. It's bad enough that you're being chased by the cops, but then your car crashes and the cops beat the living sh*t out of you. F*ck man if Ritmo can't make a respectable remix than it's best to just burn these files and never speak of this again. True Reality (Vaishiyas Remix)- Hope has long since taken the short bus out of town but if it's worth anything this is the funkiest one. Still it's like being locked in a port a potty with an air freshner. Yeah it smells nicer, but your still standing on a pile of sh*t. Ask for Permission (Phaxe Remix)- Ahhh, they saved the best for last. The leads were at least engaging and there was a nice break. Very emotional in fact. Like looking at the sunset over a vast ocean. Good stuff Phaxe, you don't get the glare. There's a few hours I won't ever get back. Wow this f*cking sucked. No two ways about it. Other than the Phaxe remix I would steer clear of this like it was a chick with an open weeping sore on her lip. I am thankful for having listened to it though because it will make the choice between stabbing sharp sticks in my ears and listening to another Symphonix track that much easier. http://www.beatport.com/release/the-usual-suspects-remixes-part-1/392741 http://www.beatport.com/release/the-usual-suspects-remixes-part-2/401699 Mdk