ouroboros Posted December 11, 2001 Share Posted December 11, 2001 ok..where to start. i have been listening to trance for about 4 yrs now, and have been into the goa scene pretty deep for about 2 1/2. i have to say..it has nearly taken over my life. i live day to day thinking about when the next party i can go to is, and whats the next cd i can get. i have of late even started to try to make my own music. i can not describe in words how it makes me feel, its as though im addicted to it. here is my problem: my girlfriend doesnt listen to it. ill play it a lot and she says she likes it, but she doesnt get it. she refuses to go to a party with me and i get the feeling she thinks im being a little too serious about the whole thing. i have tried to explain to her that how i feel when listening to this music is as close i have ever come to having a true religous expeirience. when im listening to goa or (especialy) at a paty...its the only time in my life that i feel connected to the universe...its the only time im not afraid of dying. i can hear it. i can hear the perfection that is this universe we inhabit. i know other people can hear it...i see you dancing, with your eyes closed and a smile on your face. sometimes it makes me cry that she cant hear the beauty i hear, that she cant feel the comfort i feel, that she doesnt understand. it hurts me that sometimes she doesnt want me to go to a party, she wants me to stay home with her, or go somewhere else. i wish she would come with me. if she only knew what she was asking me to give up i think she would never ask it of me again. i cant not go. i cant give that up. if something were to happen and there was no more goa or goa parties...i would be lost. im at the point of tears just writing this...so im going to stop even though there is a lot more to say. i was just wondering.....does anyone understand what im saying, or have i truly lost my mind? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest goa tacks Posted December 11, 2001 Share Posted December 11, 2001 Hey, your words remaind me a lot of experience I had. I think that many of people in this forum had similar experience with you. I felt the similar way you did, and I am more than happy to share with you if you send me a personal message with me. (I do not want to make tired of people just saying my story.) But I can say several things I learn from power of our music. Yes! it connect with me and whole universe and all people around me, connect me as an important part of the universe. I always find light and happiness, even I goes to deep dark side of the trip... always light comes after the darkness.. it is hard to describe the words, and it is only for people who actually experience it. I also think that meeting the spirit of Goa is such a special experience and people need right time to experience it. Maybe your girlfriend is not ready to experience it, and I am sure that it is matter of timing.. and people meet power of our muci in certain spiritual path. (well it does not have to be psy-trance since there is so much spiritual experience people can have in life... like my good friend has similar experience as she perform tribal dancing without knowing psy-trance or never has psychedelic substance in her life.) I know your pain, but do not be dissapointed... people need their own time and experience to reach the certain spiritual path. and even you are a boyfriend, you can't change the way she sees the world...(but do not forget you can always guide her and assiste her.) and sometime it is important let people go to their own direction, then your spirit and her spirit is the right spirits, she always come back for you. And remember when you keep good energy (from music or whatever) it will influence other energy force positively. But if you start having stress or negative force, it will affect your external world negatively... so try to keep positive energy... that's the only way you can assiste her spirit to reach your level. You mention about making music.. that's the probablly the best way you can positively approach other people. I talked with many psy-artists (Goa Gil, Kode IV, Medicine Drum, Shakta) they all has such a nice vibe and good energy... I think that is why they make such good music too... because their musics are their spirits too. do not worry you do not lost your mind, it is just the stage we are all go though... and it will be all good for your spirits. So let's try to live in the life with full of love and compassion. goa-tacks p.s. I am prety sure there is so many people there for you, at least I am. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Dj shed Posted December 11, 2001 Share Posted December 11, 2001 well it happens to many ppl without doubt especially the matter with gf anyway, no matter what u got into so deep, it has to make u feel good and to reconize that u r enjoying ur life. that is the most important thing. it happens to me everytime with girl now even with my wife. i dj and very serious about this music but she dont care, right but i been thru with this by i remember above. so i think the relationship is as important as how u like the party and music but also u need to have serious person who cares u, and love u. its all about the balance. if u got both, u r such an lucky ass. its not something about the party but life. maybe its better to find someone else to share the time, honestly but its ur life and i always told my self that this is not the very LAST party so maybe next time........ its not compromise but just to live smart way from my experience hope it help u a bit grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr dj shed Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest mogwai Posted December 11, 2001 Share Posted December 11, 2001 My girlfriend is the same as i found out this weekend !!! She's basically told me she the whole scene doesn't really interest her and she doesn't really like the parties and dancing however she does like listening to the more ambient stuff around the house and in the car. I mean this all came as a shock to me because i always thought she enjoyed it just as much as I did (she'd never mentioned it for the last 4 years i've know her !!!). This bummed me out for the rest of the night and really got me wondering about how i could love it so much yet she couldn't (she said things like she can't dance and doesn't like the atmoshpere and staying up all night. I mean WTF these are the reasons why I love psy. Exacly because there are no rules and it streaches you to the limits). The music and the art and the culture is really the only thing that drives me these days however i wouldn't say i'm immersed in it fully as i work alot and love my sleep also It just tripped me out and makes me wonder how different we really are and why she never mentioned it before. Its kinda sad and really I'm getting the impression that my girlfriend (like most other women i know) want men that will stay at home and give up their life, friends and expect them to give them all their time and effort for them. I mean at 23 should i really be wanting to buy houses, and get married and all that @!#$. Certainly not !!!! I just want to have fun, meet some new people who are interested in the same stuff as i am and do a whole lot of travelling before i have to deal with that sort of @!#$. The worst thing is its really got me wondering whether this person i've been sharing my life with for the last 4 years is actually interested in the same things as I am or if thats how she's been acting and has now just had enough of putting up with someone that doesn't want the same things as her. I'm happy to do what she wants whenever i can but usually that just means sitting around at home not doing alot which just gives me the shits. As a solution to our problem ouroboros i suggest we just keep doing what we're doing, if thats what makes us happy, and perhaps meet other people and have other experiences outside of the relationship (not talking sexually here but just travelling and meeting people etc) and see if there is still enough in common for the relationship to hold together. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Strumpling Posted December 11, 2001 Share Posted December 11, 2001 ouroboros, u taking any drugs? -=- Matt/Strumpling -=- don't get all offended n @!#$, please. sheesh! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ouroboros Posted December 11, 2001 Share Posted December 11, 2001 hehe strumpling im not offended. i might have asked the same question if i read that post. =) yes i sometimes do take acid and and rarely i take e. i would say my acid consumption is maybe 2 hits a month. some times a little more and a lot of times much less. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest adrenachrome Posted December 11, 2001 Share Posted December 11, 2001 I've been there too!! It took me a LOT of time to convince my girlfriend to come to a goa party. But at the very first party she came, she said she loved it and now she only thinks about going to goa parties too. So I was happy thinking "finally, she saw the light", BUT she then told me that she's not that interested in the music!!! I was like "WTF??? why the hell bother coming then?" and she told me that she liked the ambiance of the parties: the happy people, the nice colourfull decos and clothes,... but she only tolerated the music, not really liked it... Well, anyway, I was happy at least that we didn't have to fight on what we did Friday or Saturday evenings anymore. But, like you guys, I kept wondering how she could not like the music... So after a lot of thinking while listeing to Transwave - Helium through headphones just when I was about to sleep, it kinda came to me like a revelation (didn't take any psychedellics, but listeng to psy music this way really inspires me)... we're all different. We all have different tastes as well in music as in every other aspect in life, that's what makes diversity and this Earth the way it is. By trying to force someone to accept your preferences, you're not only denying Earth this diversity, you're also closing your mind to other alternatives, making the assumption that YOUR preferences are the right ones and not the other's. By asking others to keep an open mind on what YOU like, you're closing your mind to what OTHERS like, so in the end, you're not any better than them, even worse because at least they tolerate what you like... So keep an opend mind to what other people like and TOLERATE it, even if you don't enjoy it, and, most of all, APPRECIATE the fact that others tolerate your differences without actually liking them. I really felt enlightened once that theory came into my head... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest dam10n Posted December 11, 2001 Share Posted December 11, 2001 That's all no surprise... my girlfriend hates the full on stuff, I've given up on dragging her to parties now but at the lizard eclipse festival in cornwall a couple of years ago she really got into the stuff and while she can tolerate it, she really likes the downtempo stuff, ooze, skydancing sort of thing, and digital mystery tour. But how is this really important? I mean if we were all into model railways and all had setups in our attics, we might be pissed off that our ladies weren't into it... but isn't that the way of the world? Blokes need hobbies, need something to get anal about, women don't. So we're suffering, but at least we aren't railway enthusiasts, trainspotters, battle re-enactors, or anything like that. And if we were all attached to goa-girls who love the music, we'd be pissed off because they can't tell spiral trax from acid casualties, or cosmosis from cosmosis & shakta, etc etc. It's the human condition! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest dj shed Posted December 11, 2001 Share Posted December 11, 2001 nnnnnnnnnnnn u guys sound like some cult or somethig this is just part of music and not all life, okay? ppl tend to depend on those ( apart from religion ) for excuses as i seen even about drug take drug to dance crazy and to keep dance i think its not so smart if u r blind and ready to surcrifice rest of life and stuff it is dangeous, pal grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ouroboros Posted December 11, 2001 Share Posted December 11, 2001 im not trying to get her to like it. if she winds up liking it in the end..thats great. we have a lot of other things in common. she likes industrial...i love industrial. recently we went to see vnv nation and i had one of the best times at a show i can remember. i just want her to not get all pissy when i want to go to a goa party. im not losing sight of whats important. im probably not going to the new years tsunami (i really really want to go). i have no intention of going out on new years eve without her. no mater how great the party might be, i would be sad that i wasnt with her to start the new year. i know that not everyone connects with everything, but i wish she had something she connected with on the same level i do with this, just so she would know how i feel about it, so i could compare it to something she feels. she doesnt have something like that, and that by itself makes me sad for her. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Mike Indidginus Posted December 11, 2001 Share Posted December 11, 2001 Dam10n, You were at the Lizard Eclipse Festival in Cornwall? I played there in the Whirlygig tent!!! Mad, we probably walked right past each other... Regarding the thread, I agree with you It is indeed the human condition and something that we each have to work out for ourselves... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Slidingtrancer Posted December 11, 2001 Share Posted December 11, 2001 I have the exact same thing with my girlfriend, well she likes male and female singing and there's not a lot of that in psytrance. She thinks its too dark, too depressive, she wants to hear happy @!#$. I've tried every cd on her and the only thing she will tolerate is Shpongle. I'm just as trapped as the topic-starter. She promised to go to a party with me, so the 21st she will be there with me when Wizzy Noise will be there. The thing is, when she doesn't like it there, she has to stay there and then she's just gonna spoil the party She's gonna whine she wants to leave and stuff, while I just want to dance and touch the clouds. I know 99,9% for sure she won't like it, but I have to try it. Maybe she likes it, it would be brilliant if she would be with me there more often, but I fear thats only a dream! My g/f don't have that much in common, but is that really so important? We have enough in common to be together and not enough to get irritated. Well, wish me luck the 21st ... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Jeff Posted December 11, 2001 Share Posted December 11, 2001 When music becomes a way of life... It's not my case, and when I read such thread I realise that it simplifies my everyday life. Good luck to all of you. J. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest [tom jaimz] Posted December 11, 2001 Share Posted December 11, 2001 I'm just in it for the crack cocaine. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest lÿsërgïç Posted December 11, 2001 Share Posted December 11, 2001 its the goa-experience isnt it? i think thats the reason why we all listen to it. because nothing else can captivate your spirit in such a way that psytrance does. u have a look at other people who are into a different sort of music, i havent found any that are so 'connected' or 'dependant' on the sound as us goa freaks so it seems natural for us to love the music as much as the air we breathe. it seems to be like a bug or virus that , once it has entered into your body, then there is no turning back, because u have been infected, like being addicted to hard drugs, but maybe even more powerful than that. imagine your current life, but take out music.... that is a very very dull existance dont u think? and so many people live this way, maybe they havent been enlightened? who knows.. other people may call us crazy. but so what? the jokes on them Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest green mouse Posted December 11, 2001 Share Posted December 11, 2001 hm...it would appear from these posts that psychedelic trance and the whole scene is some bizzare male world, when it is clearly not....and, when it becomes such a major part of our lives, I truly wonder how it is to have a partner that does not share one of your major passions....well, I can say I sympathyze with you guys...although I don't know what your experience is like...I cannot imagine it....for my best friends and my last boyfriends have been or have become psy addicts like me, or greater. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Mike Indidginus Posted December 11, 2001 Share Posted December 11, 2001 I think Jeff has the right idea - balance is a good thing Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest neuroloog Posted December 11, 2001 Share Posted December 11, 2001 you've defenitely lost your mind "im at the point of tears just writing this..." you've got to be kidding hahahahahah stop taking druqs is my advice... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Slidingtrancer Posted December 11, 2001 Share Posted December 11, 2001 Well crying is too much, but it CAN really put you down when you want to share something with your loved one and she just doesnt care/ understand it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest kriz Posted December 11, 2001 Share Posted December 11, 2001 gotta understand that, especially if it is someone you really love.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Elysium Project Posted December 11, 2001 Share Posted December 11, 2001 Wonder why it is so improtant for you guys to convince your girlfriends to like what you like. I am sure you fell in love with your girlfriends because of their differences. let them do what they do and do your thing.... If you puss them too hard they will get enough. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Jeff Posted December 11, 2001 Share Posted December 11, 2001 Of course Elysium, but I think their girlfriends are under the impression their mates are dating Psy Trance rather than them. You need a very high dose of tolerance and love to cope with such a passion the Goa heads here are in. J. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Lair Posted December 11, 2001 Share Posted December 11, 2001 I count my blessing every day. I myself could not spend time with someone who is not as into psy and Goa as much as I am. My blessing is a lady named Melanie, my fiancee. we are getting married in the Summer and our honey moon is planned around Goa parties in Thailand. best of luck finding someone who shares your love for our music. Lair Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Slidingtrancer Posted December 11, 2001 Share Posted December 11, 2001 Most girls who share my love for goa are not interested ... LOL No, I'm happy with my g/f, she pulls me back whenever I seem to fall in a pool of sex,drugs and psychedelic rock 'n roll Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest reno Posted December 11, 2001 Share Posted December 11, 2001 I too can get a bit depressed sometimes because people I see everyday in school and my own family don't really understand this kind of music. Well, I'm not too fond of "their" music either, hehe. Luckily I have some more distant friends who share my passion Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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