Guest Stormbringer Posted December 11, 2001 Share Posted December 11, 2001 I´ve been listening to extreme electronic music since the early eighties and I´ve spent a lot of time to figure out why? I DON`T just want to go in the opposite direction as everybody else and I´m not revolting! I´m 32 so it would be really stupid to still act as a teenager! I know that I´m PRETTY obsessed and I haven´t met anybody yet who´s anywhere near my compulsive behaviour, boy or girl! When I met my girlfriend (now my ex-girlfriend) I was very impressed by her +1000 recordcollection (I own more than 3000) and she even started to buy psytrance but she never really liked anything else than the melodic (Dragonfly) stuff (Pleidians, Shakta, UX etc.). And she could never learn how to be able just to dance and be happy all night without anything else than music so we couldn´t go to psyparties together :´-( Just the fact that she bought records was amazing. Most girls don´t!!! Most boys don´t either!!!!!!!!! Most people doesn´t really care about ANY music and psytrance is something most people never will even remotely understand. dam10n wrote: "Blokes need hobbies, need something to get anal about, women don't." That´s very true too! I´ve never met ANY girls except my (now 33 years old) ex-girlfriend who´s been really interested in music. Interested enough to buy a record instead of food when hungry!!! Well... I know that if I´m looking for a (new) girlfriend with those criteria I´ll be alone for the rest of my life :-D Look at this forum!!! (almost) NO (visible) girls... less than 1% I´d guess. Human boys and girls are so different from eachother that they could easily be two different species and no one would ever think that was strange ;-) Stormbringer Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest green mouse Posted December 11, 2001 Share Posted December 11, 2001 I am starting to feel so rare and precious....a girl who all her life has loved music and is absolutely in love with psy trance and mad about 7 day open air parties.... thank you, guys! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest PsYoNic Posted December 11, 2001 Share Posted December 11, 2001 Seems like i'm one of the few blessed on this forum. I'm together with my wife for almost 8 years now and married for almost one. We've been trough a lot of things in our lives and always stood together. Same with our interests in everything psychedelic related. We both actually live our life as one... She knows quite a lot actually but that's maybe because we have like a little competition going on on which artist and track is playing....(she even picked up the basics on beatmixing and gives it a shot now and then:)) Actually i'm the one who has to ask to go home at a party, she loves to dance and seems like she never get's tired..... Unfortunately not every girl gets infected by the psyvibe i guess, my friend had the same problem with a 4 year relationship......he chose for the music....... Good luck to all you guys btw.small tip: try to feed her a§id and bang out your hardest tunes )))) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Elysium Project Posted December 11, 2001 Share Posted December 11, 2001 My point is: If you get depressed, irritated or if you "dump" your girlfriend/boyfriend just because they do not share the same taste for music and parties as you do then you really need to take a good prober look at your life. Yes we all love the music but if it overshadow everything else in your life such as love, work, school, social life ect. you need help. I see many people completely into this world of music, parties and drugs and they seem to forget that there's a world outside - All they do is something related to this scene and they constantly talk about the next party an the weekends - Don't it remind you about a drugaddict loooking for the next fix? - It sure does to me! My girlfriend like the music but do not use that much time on it. I love her for the person she is and I frankly do not care at all if she like the music, and this scene or not. I am not with her because of music. You people should be very happy that you actually have a girlfriend/boyfriend that put up with your obsessive "hobby" and thank her/him for being there for you. Many people do not have a special person to share their lifes with. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ouroboros Posted December 11, 2001 Share Posted December 11, 2001 i think you guys missed my point (or rather i didnt state it clearly enough) i am not trying to convince her to listen to goa. if she starts listening thats cool, but if she doesnt then thats cool too. what saddens me is that she has nothing that gives her this feeling (unless i give her that feeling..which is possible i know she loves me very much). and it sometimes bothers me that i have to choose being with her or going to a party. its very painful for me to have to choose that. no matter which i do i feel bad about it. i think that right now its important for me to go...important to my personal well being. but its also important for my personal well being to be with her. since i get to see her all the time and there arent that many parties...when there is one i really want to go. i ususly do go, and she doesnt give me a real hard time about it....but i get a sense of disdain from her. does that make more sense? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Elysium Project Posted December 11, 2001 Share Posted December 11, 2001 Well it does not make sense that you think that you are the only one that give her that special feeling...if you talked to her about it I am sure that you would realize that she has something that she burn for. maybe you just need to pay a bit more attention to her world? By the way have you ever heard about the term "give and take"? If you have to choose between a party and her you should always choose her. Afterall there will always be another party... you don't really miss out on anything... most parties are quite similar to eachother... always place your girlfriend and family infornt of parties. It seem to me that you suffer from a bad consience towards her. If she does not give you a hard time then be happy about it and remember to put her first in your life. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Stormbringer Posted December 11, 2001 Share Posted December 11, 2001 To green mouse: Girls on specialized websites are sparse. Girls listening to Psytrance are even more rare. Girls who knows anything about the psy-scene and buying records are so rare that´s it´s almost ridiculous to count them. Girls who like the music I like are so few that (if they even exist?) I´ve never met them. I don´t count my sister who has to be considered to be indoctrinated by me :-) She´s 2 years younger! If I was able to remember my dreams I could atleast dream but I can´t! Pooooooooor me ;-) Stormbringer Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ouroboros Posted December 11, 2001 Share Posted December 11, 2001 elysium.. i very much appreciate yours and everyonse input on this. i do not think that i give her that feeling. it was just a thought about a possibility. i do pay very close attention to her, and i can say that i dont see her passionate about anything. (no hobbies no interests) we have a very good relationhip, we have give and take. i am not complaining about my girlfriend here. i dont have a problem with her, we get along great and have fun together all the time. i do put her and all the people in my life in front of parties. but if i dont go to a party for a long time i start to get depressed, and we dont have a lot of them here. i go an average of one per month. i dont think that asking for one night a month is all that much. i would like it if she went with me...but if shes not going to go, i would like for her to not get all depressed about it. she never askes me to not go, but she does sometimes give me a guilt trip over it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Slidingtrancer Posted December 11, 2001 Share Posted December 11, 2001 Music is just a BIG part of my life and I like various genres, including this one. I would really like to share the thrill I get when listening to music. My g/f doesnt really have that and I think thats a shame. She can't experience music for it's beauty, for her its merely vague expressions like 'angry young men with guitars' and 'dancable'. My g/f has lots of other qualities so I dont mind too much, but it would be nice if she felt the same thing... People all around me don't see the use of making this music or even listening to it. It's just boinks and bleeps to them. They can't feel the energy when a fullon track is being played, they don't feel touched by anything Shpongled. In a way I pity these people who can't feel that way about music ( that is ANY music), because I'd rather have my balls cut off than to miss out on that. I know many people ,like Ouro... said, who don't feel passionate about anything. The focus themselves on careers, children and when they have it all, they'll throw it away. I feel passionate about music and thats how its been the greatest part of my life PLUR Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Elysium Project Posted December 11, 2001 Share Posted December 11, 2001 Well Slidingtrancer maybe those people feel the same way about other kinds of music like Rock or Pop. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest ndru Posted December 12, 2001 Share Posted December 12, 2001 I like having a g/f who could not worry either way about a party and whether i/we/she goes or not. I do feel a little freer when my woman is not about sometimes (no not neccessarily sex but individuality and freedom from consideration). A break which allows me to come home in fresh spirits if not body and express myself positively. She understands I love and cherish these gatherings and accepts most things as they come. She laughed at the ridiculousness and seeming decadence of it all on the first occasion we went bush together, but one vibing gathering 6 months later and now she is quite keen to party out some weekends. In fact the couple of gatherings i have seen her have fun at.... shes been a life of the party. But she still keeps her distance and her general life. It has been very different with the 2 previous g/f's who I met "through" the scene whereupon we based our relationships around this big almost non-personal thing which left an ultimately empty connection and a questionmark on what it all meant. Now I am almost wary of wanting a woman who likes partying too much. BTW I am 28 and "somewhat" more experienced in life than my partner of one year. My only advice to any lovesick puppies is "live what you love, every moment of your life!"... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Phaedrus Posted December 12, 2001 Share Posted December 12, 2001 I know exactly what you mean ouroboros... and goa tacks, and lÿsërgïç, and green mouse.... I have also been struggling with something very similar, ouroboros, so I am also glad you brought this up. I agree with several people's comments above w.r.t. all people being unique, and it is these differences that make us love each other... I also agree that it is a basic part of the human pysche to think that "the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence" and to want what we don't have, namely a girlfriend whose life is deeply affected by trance... I guess the net-net for me is that although my girlfriend of 11 months "likes" trance and does not discourage my obesession (she goes to parties sometimes with me), I know that she does not see eye to eye with me on something that is very important in my life. That fact coupled with the facts that 1) I am atheist, she is catholic, and 2) I think certain drugs play a very important part in the way I view the world, she has never put a spliff to her lips..... I know that I love her, despite the differences mentioned above, and may very well marry her. If I do marry her, the noise in my head will tell me that I have settled, for fear of not finding anyone better and not wanting to go at it alone... You're right EP, that these are good problems to have, in some sense, but they can still eat away at you and make you more confused than you were to begin with.... When your "hobbies" are so important that they take a substantial percentage of your time, you have to do a lot of thinking about how your life will look spending all of your time with a mate who does not share these passions... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Slidingtrancer Posted December 12, 2001 Share Posted December 12, 2001 "In a way I pity these people who can't feel that way about music ( that is ANY music), because I'd rather have my balls cut off than to miss out on that." Elysium, please read that again.... I meant not passionate about ANY music or anything in particular for that matter. "I know that I love her, despite the differences mentioned above, and may very well marry her. If I do marry her, the noise in my head will tell me that I have settled, for fear of not finding anyone better and not wanting to go at it alone..." I know this feeling, but I also know its just a stage people go through. It's only human to have certain doubts whether this is all. But at the end of the day, with or without psytrance, I love my girl and I would feel miserable without her. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest green mouse Posted December 12, 2001 Share Posted December 12, 2001 Stormbringer, how do you account for all the girls at all the parties? What are they doing there if they are not into the music? Just accompanying their boyfriends? C'mon... Cheer up, psy girls do exist...well, just don't expect to find them at the movies or sth like that.... =) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Elysium Project Posted December 12, 2001 Share Posted December 12, 2001 I hear you green mouse... very true indeed.... In the many parties I have been to there has always been many girls dancing their pretty asses off. In most of the european parties the sexes are 50 / 50. And I am sure as green mouse says that they do come becaus ethe love the music. By the way I know many girls into collecting music and also dj'ing (some privately). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest jenni Posted December 12, 2001 Share Posted December 12, 2001 Im with you, green mouse. I love the music, Im going crazy when I could dance the whole night......and I buy music as much as my boyfriend does! (sometimes even more....) I cant imagine, how it would be, if my bf would not like psytrance......... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Stormbringer Posted December 13, 2001 Share Posted December 13, 2001 To green mouse, Elysium Project and Jenni: I didn´t say anything about parties! I agree that the ratio is about 50/50 and that girls like parties as much as boys do. But I don´t think girls in general are as interested in music as boys. Why? 1. How many of the leading dj´s (psy) are female? Less than 1% 2. How many of the leading artists (psy) are female? Less than 1% 3. How many of the leading (psy) partyorganizers are female? If we skip the word "leading" in the above questions, will that change anything? No!!! Some more things to think about: 1. When entering a (psy) recordstore... how many girls are in there (to buy records!) compared to boys? Not many! 2. How many girls on this site are writing reviews? Not many, if any? Why? 3. How many girls spend most of their money on records? I haven´t met anybody yet (exept my ex-girlfriend). 4. How many girls visit this forum compared to boys? Why so few? Girls really interested in music DO exist, green mouse and jenni are proof of that, but they´re rare! We had this topic "Where´s all the girls in psy?" in this forum some time ago, and if I remember right less than ten girls visit this forum. Why? This site is the best psy-site on the web! I would just love it if I was wrong about this. I´m 32 so I´m not born yesterday. I´ve been to hundreds of parties during the years so I know how rare female artists and dj´s are! I spend a lot of my time and money to find and buy records so I know how few females there are at recordfaires and recordstores too. If girls really are as interested as boys, where are they??? Stormbringer Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest jenni Posted December 13, 2001 Share Posted December 13, 2001 Stormbringer, you are right. Most of the girls are....let me say:"passiv", less activ psy trance lovers. I know many more girls, creating the party-deco for example, than being interested in DJing. But.....why are the girls so rare in this forum? Woman are (still ! ) less interested in all that computer stuff. Most of the computer freaks are boys! This is a fact and I think this is the answer. respect Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Elysium Project Posted December 14, 2001 Share Posted December 14, 2001 I also think it has something to do with that the DJ guys in this scene can be quite narrowminded when it come to letting other DJ's get a break. Even for a guy it can be a tough fight to be allowed ot play... Many Dj's and their organiser friends are not prepared to give up their domaines to other Dj's. I am sure many girls just do not bother to fight for a gig. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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