Dajek Posted February 22, 2006 Share Posted February 22, 2006 So this is all unrelated to anything else but the fanboyism towards Simon Posford (which I am somewhat part of myself). I hope noone is against some humour and this topic doesn't raise any flaming Simon Posford could make a better trance album than The Lone Deranger, but there wouldn't be any point because all who would hear it would fall into unrecoverable trance. Simon Posford knows the formula of a truly killer bassline. It is hand written by him on an old parchment and secretly buried under the Stonehenge to keep Skazi from commiting genocide. The reason the twisted releases always delay a year or two is that Simon Posford has to test them on animals for a few months to detect and remove any physically and psychologically addictive melodies and tweaks before the stuff hits the market. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ace Ventura Posted February 23, 2006 Share Posted February 23, 2006 So this is all unrelated to anything else but the fanboyism towards Simon Posford (which I am somewhat part of myself). I hope noone is against some humour and this topic doesn't raise any flaming Simon Posford could make a better trance album than The Lone Deranger, but there wouldn't be any point because all who would hear it would fall into unrecoverable trance. Simon Posford knows the formula of a truly killer bassline. It is hand written by him on an old parchment and secretly buried under the Stonehenge to keep Skazi from commiting genocide. The reason the twisted releases always delay a year or two is that Simon Posford has to test them on animals for a few months to detect and remove any physically and psychologically addictive melodies and tweaks before the stuff hits the market. 446228[/snapback] Where is Chuck Norris in all this ? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Otto Matta Posted February 23, 2006 Share Posted February 23, 2006 Where is Chuck Norris in all this ? 446389[/snapback] That's what I was wondering. Chuck might have been able to make some of those jokes funny. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Inducted Consciousness Posted February 23, 2006 Share Posted February 23, 2006 I was actually thinking about making a post like this, following up on the Vin Diesel and Chuck Norris jokes with Simon Posford jokes. But enough rambling, let me contribute: - God was listening to "LSD" when it created the universe. - Simon Posford's music is illegal in 106 countries worldwide because of it's highly known hallucinogenic and psychedelic effects. - Every recorded sound that Simon Posford emits or creates is in one way or form, just an unreleased Shpongle track. - The reason Simon uses hardware for his production is because whenever he uses a VST, the computer goes into a spastic, psychedelic screensaver that continues without end. The Apple Simon used for Shpongle actually is just a frozen computer that is there for show. - One needs to wear gloves and sealed atmospheric protection suits to handle the master gold disc of anything with Simon Posford's sounds on it, not because they wish to keep it pure, but because if it makes contact with any human being, it will vaporize them, transforming them into a bunch of gaseous fractals. - Simon Posford never actually needs to touch the knobs, dials, and buttons on his studio hardware; he just goes near them, and the controls go into a trance-dance in his presence. - A being can only travel faster than light travel if one is listening to "Alpha Centauri". - Simon Posford has traveled back in time to tell every great and significant musician in existence what to create. - An "Ohm" is defined as a "Sound originating from Simon Posford". - Raja Ram needed to be put into rehabilitation for two months because he heard Simon Posford humming in the shower. EDIT: Crap, spelt LSD incorrectly. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jikkenteki Posted February 23, 2006 Share Posted February 23, 2006 - Although it is thought that Simon Posford often uses sample cds in his music, the truth is that Simon Posford actually created all the samples cds on the market today. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Icarus Posted February 23, 2006 Share Posted February 23, 2006 Simon Posford can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
phobium Posted February 23, 2006 Share Posted February 23, 2006 - Allthough Simon Posford jokes could be cool, they are just as boring as the Chuck Norris jokes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ov3rdos3 Posted February 23, 2006 Share Posted February 23, 2006 For he is Simon Posford. The Truth and the Light. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
traveller Posted February 23, 2006 Share Posted February 23, 2006 What did God say to Simon? "Damn you're looking good today", while he looked in the mirror. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frontier Psychiatrist Posted February 23, 2006 Share Posted February 23, 2006 Blasphemy. I shall hack Psynews site cause you are mocking my god Mods, please lock this thread, it's racist and it's insulting me and my beliefs. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Trolsk Posted February 23, 2006 Share Posted February 23, 2006 Where is Chuck Norris in all this ? 446389[/snapback] http://www.chucknorrisfacts.com/ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bahamut Posted February 23, 2006 Share Posted February 23, 2006 Simon Posford only makes music because Chuck Norris allows him to. However, Chuck found the third Shpongle album to be an insult to his intelligence, so he is currently training with the Delta Force to invade Posford's studio and destroy all his projects, patches and sample CDs. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mind.breeder Posted February 23, 2006 Share Posted February 23, 2006 - God was listening to "LCD" when it created the universe. 446402[/snapback] Simon Posford will invent LSD monitor. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ritual om Posted February 23, 2006 Share Posted February 23, 2006 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
traveller Posted February 23, 2006 Share Posted February 23, 2006 What did God say to Simon? "Damn you're looking good today", while he looked in the mirror. 446509[/snapback] Better rephrase this one.. What does God say when he looks into the mirror in the morning? "Looking good today Simon!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Icarus Posted February 23, 2006 Share Posted February 23, 2006 Simon Posford will invent LSD monitor. 446934[/snapback] HAHAHAHAHHAHA GR8 ONE Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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