Rotwang Posted July 2, 2013 Share Posted July 2, 2013 ^ I wouldn't mind reincarnating as a hippo. They're hard as nails. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Veracohr Posted July 3, 2013 Share Posted July 3, 2013 Although apparently they get shit on by birds. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JISNEGRO Posted July 3, 2013 Share Posted July 3, 2013 You could get your revenge  Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Drosophila Posted July 9, 2013 Share Posted July 9, 2013 LOL Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Drosophila Posted July 12, 2013 Share Posted July 12, 2013 Futuristic tattoos?! http://twistedsifter.com/2012/03/lichtenberg-figures-lightning-strike-scars/ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
needle ninja Posted July 15, 2013 Share Posted July 15, 2013 Futuristic tattoos?! http://twistedsifter.com/2012/03/lichtenberg-figures-lightning-strike-scars/ More like old-school tattoos. People have been getting struck by lightning for as long as there have been people. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Drosophila Posted July 16, 2013 Share Posted July 16, 2013 Yeah but not on purpose... well that was my try as fortune-teller. I mean people get all kinds of weird stuff done, so why not get some lighting-tattoos done as well?! Tesla would have gotten one! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
needle ninja Posted July 17, 2013 Share Posted July 17, 2013 We fix you right up!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lemmiwinks Posted July 18, 2013 Share Posted July 18, 2013 Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lemmiwinks Posted July 18, 2013 Share Posted July 18, 2013 These are from a book called Disorder in the Courts and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and published by court reporters that had the torment of staying calm while the exchanges were taking place.ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?WITNESS: He said, 'Where am I, Cathy?'ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?WITNESS: My name is Susan!_______________________________ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.____________________________________________ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?WITNESS: No, I just lie there.____________________________________________ATTORNEY: What is your date of birth?WITNESS: July 18th.ATTORNEY: What year?WITNESS: Every year._____________________________________ATTORNEY: How old is your son, the one living with you?WITNESS: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which.ATTORNEY: How long has he lived with you?WITNESS: Forty-five years._________________________________ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?WITNESS: Yes.ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?WITNESS: I forget.. ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot? ___________________________________________ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?____________________________________ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the 20-year-old, how old is he?WITNESS: He's 20, much like your IQ.___________________________________________ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?WITNESS: Are you shitting me?_________________________________________ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?WITNESS: Yes.ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?WITNESS: Getting laid____________________________________________ATTORNEY: She had three children , right?WITNESS: Yes.ATTORNEY: How many were boys?WITNESS: None.ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?WITNESS: Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney? Â ____________________________________________ ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?WITNESS: By death..ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?WITNESS: Take a guess.___________________________________________ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beardATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?WITNESS: Unless the Circus was in town I'm going with male._____________________________________ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.______________________________________ATTORNEY: Doctor , how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?WITNESS: All of them. The live ones put up too much of a fight._________________________________________ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?WITNESS: Oral..._________________________________________ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 PMATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?WITNESS: If not, he was by the time I finished. ____________________________________________ ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?WITNESS: Are you qualified to ask that question?______________________________________And last:ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?WITNESS: No.ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?WITNESS: No.ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?WITNESS: No..ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?WITNESS: No.ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JISNEGRO Posted July 19, 2013 Share Posted July 19, 2013 ^ Good one Lemmiwinks! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lemmiwinks Posted July 20, 2013 Share Posted July 20, 2013 hehehe I wouldn't mind having such an experience (notice that when they arrive there's Electric Universe playing in the background? ) Â http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xamGrall2wc Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
needle ninja Posted July 26, 2013 Share Posted July 26, 2013 these go together- Â Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
needle ninja Posted July 30, 2013 Share Posted July 30, 2013 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JISNEGRO Posted July 30, 2013 Share Posted July 30, 2013 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ormion Posted July 31, 2013 Share Posted July 31, 2013 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lemmiwinks Posted August 1, 2013 Share Posted August 1, 2013 hehe nice ones    Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lemmiwinks Posted August 24, 2013 Share Posted August 24, 2013 Â Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lemmiwinks Posted August 27, 2013 Share Posted August 27, 2013 Â Â Â Â Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Veracohr Posted August 28, 2013 Share Posted August 28, 2013 It amuses me that my ISP's website loads slower than any other website I go to. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lemmiwinks Posted August 29, 2013 Share Posted August 29, 2013 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
needle ninja Posted August 30, 2013 Share Posted August 30, 2013 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
reger Posted September 3, 2013 Share Posted September 3, 2013 hehehe I wouldn't mind having such an experience (notice that when they arrive there's Electric Universe playing in the background? ) Â http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xamGrall2wc I was about to shout "OLD!" out loud, when I realised that Im in for a pleasant surprise, aside from other musical theme this one also is full version from the beginning ! I ROFLED and brought "tyres to my eyes" RadiTM Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
reger Posted September 3, 2013 Share Posted September 3, 2013 :lol: :lol: :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JISNEGRO Posted September 7, 2013 Share Posted September 7, 2013 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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