Do you suffer from any mental illness?

[trancenonZENsedance]

I had one psychotic episode in my life, 6 years ago and have a diagnosis, but I feel healthy now and have so for a while. I took mediaction for almost 5 years, stopped taking it about 15 months ago and even though I didn't feel any side effects while I took meds it seems that I made extremely slow progress in getting better at juggling or playing chess compared to now.

[psytones]

Nope.

 

But then again, I never got any diagnosis.

 

Except that I presume I suffer from the illness we all "suffer" from. Life and it's impacts.

 

peace n'cheese

 

[exotic]

Glad to know im not alone. I guess listening to psytrance comes with a cost ... we're all not normal.

 

ok that was meant to be taken lightheartedly .. on a serious note i have some issues like depression, social anxiety etc which i have developed over the years , i was not like this infact completely opposite to the way iam now. I dont know what caused this , some say its substance abuse but im not willing to accept that. Its probably something to do with third generation genetics but i could be wrong.

[Blair Thaumic]

I'm definitely neuro-atypical. Whether that means having a mental disorder or just being an introvert with a vivid imagination is a totally subjective line, and I wouldn't begin to presume to draw it.

 

The inside of my mind is one big zuppa inglese though, and with a little encouragement shows just how weird it is. To wit: I've had one of these: http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/CuteMonsterGirl taking up residence since 2004. Not from any anime or specific media, just an original creation of mine. She showed up one night while I was listening to music and... just sort of announced her presence... and ever since I've had a co-pilot.

[Anoebis]

 

Now that comes as a surprise! I didn't notice anything unusual about you at all when we met in London for the Twisted Party some years ago. Your description about acting normal surely fits then. May I ask when and how your Asperger Syndrom was discovered? I have to say I can somewhat relate to some stuff you describe (Feeling uneasy in new social situations and the likes). I always rated that as just being shy (with me but also with other People)...

Well, because aspies is definitaly within the ASS it was rather clear... I am "obsessed" with numbers and lists. As a small kid, 4-6 years old, I was only making weather graphics, i didn't care to play outside with friends And I did this for days and years... So it was rather clear immediately... Now, I am still busy with making the lists, Excel is by far my most used program on my pc, and as you know my music databass is totally defined by several lists with all imaginable info... Trying to make life logic that's typical

 

Anyway, as said, I know how to react/act in social contexts. And for many people it is rather realistic I have asperger, but... that's also very asperger, you can't see it just like that, you need more knowhow before things become rather clear

 

But as said, I prefer to see the good things, I have the feeling it rather helped my life (for sure being so rational instead of emotional) instead of making it impossible

[Goa Travellers]

Radi: You have at least seasonal affective disorder (SAD), also known as winter depression, winter blues. Most people have it in northern countries where there is wintertime. But I think you could consider relocating to a sunny place where you would be happier. You don't look happy in Europe (and I understand that).

 

Regarding medicines, in my case they have all done harm. I have stopped taking some and I have new symptoms such as sudden fears, instant shivers, electric discharges in muscles, which I had not before I took medicines (are the medicines the culprit or not? I don't know). These everending symptoms happens repeatedly throughout the day. Particularly notorious drugs: Tercian, resperdal, abilify, cymbalta or effexor. Some of them make me feel like a zombie and slow down my gestures and my thoughts. Duh...

[Tatsu]

Well, because aspies is definitaly within the ASS it was rather clear... I am "obsessed" with numbers and lists. As a small kid, 4-6 years old, I was only making weather graphics, i didn't care to play outside with friends And I did this for days and years... So it was rather clear immediately... Now, I am still busy with making the lists, Excel is by far my most used program on my pc, and as you know my music databass is totally defined by several lists with all imaginable info... Trying to make life logic that's typical

 

Anyway, as said, I know how to react/act in social contexts. And for many people it is rather realistic I have asperger, but... that's also very asperger, you can't see it just like that, you need more knowhow before things become rather clear

 

But as said, I prefer to see the good things, I have the feeling it rather helped my life (for sure being so rational instead of emotional) instead of making it impossible

 

Thanks for your open words. I read some stuff about Asperger in the internet. Quite interesting too. But it's different to hear it from a person who is actually dealing with it. I also think it's a good thing you mainly see the positive sides. Maybe that's also one of the reasons why it is not noticable unless one either knows you or the Asperger syndrome very well. Because you have it but you are not suffering from it that much (if that makes sense...).

[Ormion]

Do you think that this mental illnesses are related to the fact that we listen to a more obscure kind of music?

[Goa Travellers]

Do you think that this mental illnesses are related to the fact that we listen to a more obscure kind of music?

 

Chicken and egg dilema...What creates what? Does goa trance music generates these mental illnesses or do we listen to this music because we are sick? I'm not convinced this music is unhealthy, to begin with. As for me, it gives me energy when I feel good. But granted that when I feel bad, it takes me further down.

[Lemmiwinks]

Do you think that this mental illnesses are related to the fact that we listen to a more obscure kind of music?

 

interesting one... I think that we all had a "black sheep" mentality when teenagers which kindof led us to listen to "something different" than what most people listen to and identify with what is esentially a scence for freaks and wierdos... That said, I have noticed that most psyheads are attracted to music that contrasts with their personality rather than stuff that exaggerates it, for example someone who is calm by nature will be naturally attracted to fast music whereas someone who's already pretty nervous will be more attracted to progressive and chill-out. I have also noticed that people who suffer from pretty severe forms of mental illnesses like schizophrenia will stay away from really evil stuff like dark trance.

[Goa Travellers]

I have also noticed that people who suffer from pretty severe forms of mental illnesses like schizophrenia will stay away from really evil stuff like dark trance.

 

Definitely! Dark trance is pretty effective at exacerbating visions of the mind, hallucinations, dark opinions about society.

[technosomy]

 

interesting one... I think that we all had a "black sheep" mentality when teenagers which kindof led us to listen to "something different" than what most people listen to and identify with what is esentially a scence for freaks and wierdos... That said, I have noticed that most psyheads are attracted to music that contrasts with their personality rather than stuff that exaggerates it, for example someone who is calm by nature will be naturally attracted to fast music whereas someone who's already pretty nervous will be more attracted to progressive and chill-out. I have also noticed that people who suffer from pretty severe forms of mental illnesses like schizophrenia will stay away from really evil stuff like dark trance.

very interesting

[technosomy]

manic depression if you hadn't already noticed

brought on by lots of horrible life experiences mainly beyond my control but some within

work in progress

[Ormion]

That said, I have noticed that most psyheads are attracted to music that contrasts with their personality rather than stuff that exaggerates it, for example someone who is calm by nature will be naturally attracted to fast music whereas someone who's already pretty nervous will be more attracted to progressive and chill-out. I have also noticed that people who suffer from pretty severe forms of mental illnesses like schizophrenia will stay away from really evil stuff like dark trance.

I agree with that.

[needle ninja]

I don't know what you would call this, but I can get very ill and pass out at the suggestion of trauma. For instance in the move Pi when the guy has is mental thing I passed out watching it. In other movies with strong trauma I have gotten ill as well, so I try to avoid these movies. I have also passed out donating plasma. The lady next to me said "you have really red blood" and that was all it took. Maybe I'm just a pansy.

[darkill]

The medical department really screws up peoples lives... sometimes I think they do more than they SAVE lives.

Welcome to USA

[RTP]

I don't know how to put this.

Officially, in my record, there is nothing. I have panic attacks, but I never got examined that thoroughly. Seems like the doctors don't know themselves. First time I saw a psycho checkup I was diagnosed having kind of drug "flashbacks" and that it's harmless and would settle. Second time I went to such a thing because of panic and generally feeling bad I got the answer that I have nothing and would need just a proper job. And the last attempt of getting a cure led to antidepressants prescriptions ... and I don't wanna take these. That were my experiences with three different doctors.

 

What I can say is that I sleep very bad sometimes. And sometimes I have some sort of "panic attacks", don't know a better word for it. Intense fear -- but it's not the type of fear of something external (that a fire would break out or so), I have these fears too, but I can keep them under control. The bad thing is, that it seems to affect something internal ... like the fear of getting crazy...

I don't know how to put it proper. Maybe another time.

 

Do you think that this mental illnesses are related to the fact that we listen to a more obscure kind of music?

I think it's rather the other way round.

Because, you need some kind of precognition to be drawn to his music -- and especially so much drawn to it that you become that much a part of the scene as we are here.

Many of my friends now listen to "goatrance" too -- or what is played at goa parties today -- and they visit the parties, but they would not go deeper into the scene as in collecting releases or anything ... that's where I would not say they have a precognition...

[Hallucinary]

Hello,

 

Not a very exciting topic, but out of curiosity, do you suffer from any mental illness? I have chronic depression, general anxiety disorder, social phobia, addictions, ADDH and OCD

Goa trance music relieves my symptoms.

I had social phobia also real bad, about 11 years ago,couldn't leave the house for about 2 years,I was only a teenager at the time,just thank god i found trance soon after this period,just takes you too another place.its a slow process to Get out of it. i was offered a perscription drug for the anxiety at the time. i didn't think that would help the situation,and decided not go down that road. anyway got alot better about 6 years ago.but it will always be there.When i found goa its was like going to another universe in my head

 

 

Definitely! Dark trance is pretty effective at exacerbating visions of the mind, hallucinations, dark opinions about society.

I agree with this, the darker the better,sometimes, dark goa in my case.

[little_sister]

I’m going to mark “Yes, other” for this simply because there are a few conventions from society that haven’t quite left my head yet. I think the outside world’s the mental illness, for the most part This was once again a very interesting thread to read.. Sounds like we probably all have a bit in common, as lemmiwinks said, “we all had a ‘black sheep’ mentality growing up.” I went thru a lot of “craziness” through the years – diagnoses, depression, pills, freak-outs, loose morals etc lol, but eventually I found myself (with sizable help from electronica, no less) and I would say now that I’m a particularly grounded person who is truly happy inside, tho she doesn’t quite fit in with the “normals” I am also starting to have my own suspicions that Radi is not real, despite the accepted FB friend request… How come you have not even viewed my FB message, Radi? Wouldn’t a real person be able to do that? Anoebis, thank you for sharing your personal story! You sound like a really amazing person to me I knew a guy with Asperger’s in grad school and he did not have the grip on himself that you have. I felt kind of bad for him because imo his parents made it worse with the way they "handled" him – for example, they didn't allow him to use a toaster or ride in the front passenger seat of a car. I mean this guy was in his late 20’s and in grad school, for chrissakes. I feel like maybe they were sorry to have a kid with Asperger’s and they didn’t give him much of a chance. He was really super smart, though, and I think with better parenting he might have been able to reach the place you have, instead of mainly freaking out in public from time to time. What a shame. Anyway, congratulations to you for finding your “home” thru a bit of adversity, and thanks again for sharing Thanks to everyone who shared!

[darkill]

Of course, medications can be good. Medications were very helpful for me, at least once. The others I took as a child gave me Tourette syndrome for three years, hallucinations, and a lot of dizziness / lack of hunger. It was at 12 when I finally was given Straterra, the sixth medication I tried. This helped me develop my focus for a number of years until I decided it was ready to stop in 2011. Everyone has different medication experience, but all 10+ doctors I saw bashed me around like a science rat. Still, medication isnt always a bad thing. I am positive it helps many people, and it did for me in the end.

 

Straterra is knownd to have a lot of side effect. I gave it a tryout...And if I remember I stoped after like 1 or 2 week. When I took it I feeled like my chest were constricted and it wasn't a litlte bit hurting, somehow like disturbing.

[Padmapani]

@rtp

welcome to the club

at least in our language it's the right word for what you describe.

i myself am lucky enough to get serious ones only every few years or so. having a prescription for benzodiazepines for such occasions ime helps a lot. antidepressants are something i wouldn't touch, but a friend of mine has the same problem and tried various ones and each time the medication made the whole thing worse rather than better. they do help for some people, but that seems to be a minority as far as i can see.

[RTP]

Thanks for the kind words and the input.

 

Yeah, I fortunately too have found these benzodiazepine things, they do help me when it's really awful, but at the same time they bear dangers of addiction, so they really are only an emergency remedy for me. I better try without as long as I can. Alhough having them ready at hand at least makes me less nervous.

[Padmapani]

Thanks for the kind words and the input.

 

Yeah, I fortunately too have found these benzodiazepine things, they do help me when it's really awful, but at the same time they bear dangers of addiction, so they really are only an emergency remedy for me. I better try without as long as I can. Alhough having them ready at hand at least makes me less nervous.

yes, you have to be careful with them, but as you said, just having them at home helps and sometimes even is enough

[Mergi]

Fellow aspie reporting in.

[Mergi]

I could +1 pretty much everything master noebis posted.

Doing presentation in front of a crowd isn't too much of a problem mostly because it is a fact driven situation. Of course I'm usually a nervous wreck the few minutes running up to it but these days I simply let it do that and turn it into something constructive instead.

Unfortunatly when it comes to pubcrawling or other festivities I'm a complete nuisance. I can essentially kill a party just by my mere presence, OK it's not that bad. But I shy away from people in general, of course if someone wants to come by my corner in the bar and talk I'm all ears.

Generally I can not relate to people at all, and discussing something is out of the question because I don't have much of any opinions on anything. I like facts though, but discussing facts isn't exactly "fun".

Mergi-"You know, today I recorded a lot of new vinyls. When I'm done recording I sort the recordings after I've edited them and normalized them in folders beginning with a folder for the label, then a folder for my a- and b-side...."

Well you might get the drift...

Going on dates is a fucken nightmare. I feel like I'm on a job interview and everything is going down the crapper because I simply can not understand any of the messages the lady is trying to send me.

But that goes for a lot of human innuendoes. Irony, sarcasm, jokes so on so on. I simply do. not. get. it.