What is Your Tool?

[FatKidWitAJetPak]

Tools. The world is full of them, and there are many people using them for different reasons. Just look around you. There are people finding tools that match them, tools that help them express. Some use paintbrushes. Others use a football. Me, I use a synthesizer. Every time I laugh, I play a note. If I start to cry, I play another. Whatever I am feeling, I search for the right tune, exploring my emotions until I am able to express who I am. It helps me pass the time, ease the pain a little, and show the world, well, my world.

 

I have witnessed people transform with these tools. They craft their personalities, piece by piece, until they think everything is right. We use tools to build ourselves. We use tools to understand who we are. They aid us in our journeys. They open doors and close others. My friend, for example, uses a canoe.

 

He paddles down rivers, witnessing day change into night as he floats down stream after stream. He says he can't get away from the outdoors, it just makes so much sense for him to go out into the wild and conquer its challenges. He came back to work the other day after being gone for a little over a week. I asked him, "Where have you been?"

 

"Exploring," he said, "Exploring."

 

We all explore. We take different paths until they lead to an answer, a sort of realization. What we realize depends on who we are. We are all different. We all have a unique interest, a perspective that leads us into unavoidable exploration. Some sit down and read in order to learn about the Roman Empire. Others buy a camera so they might capture the wonders of a busy city. My friend floated down a river, understanding nature in a larger way than he ever had before. These tools, these cameras, books, and canoes, they all take us on a wonderful journey, a journey we will express for the rest of our lives.

 

When I was in college, I suffered from serious depression issues. I hallucinated constantly while in my bed, rapidly waking up from my nightmares to witness them form right in front of my eyes. I was failing all of my classes. I didn't want to talk to anyone. Grass was no longer green. Church bells blasted me with a terrible noise. I would drive for hours aimlessly, as if my life were a never-ending tunnel. I had no happiness.

 

One day, I picked up my laptop and opened up a program called "Kore Player". It was a strange instrument, containing knobs and wires that, at the time, made no sense to me. I can't explain it, but those virtual wires animated on my computer beckoned me. They begged me to explore them. A bottle of pills sat on a desk beside me. I wanted to swallow them all. I wanted the unexplainable sickness to end forever. I just wanted to die. This program, however, stalled my decision. I plugged in my headphones, and I began to play.

 

I played for hours. I adjusted the instrument, twisting knobs until it sounded just right. Tears fell. Waves resonated. I put everything I felt into sound. After days of work, I composed my first song. This is when everything changed. I walked outside at 4AM and took a deep breath of cold winter air. It tasted great. For the first time in months, it tasted great. I continued writing music, and I still do to this day.

 

What is your tool? Do you like to swim? Do you enjoy cooking? Perhaps you like to make music like I do. Painting may interest you. Reading, writing, talking, climbing, hiking, laughing, crying, driving... There are so many possibilities. There are so many ideas to think of. There are so many visions to craft. All you have to do is realize there is something out there for you to find, so you can finally sit down and say to yourself, "I'm awesome".

 

The thing is, you ARE awesome. No, I don't want to hear you say "but, I have financial issues," or "I have a baby I never wanted to have". Life can be tough. In fact, it IS tough. But, you know what? There are many, many things you can use to build a wall to separate yourself from the negative and surround yourself with the positive. If you have a baby that you "never were meant to have," embrace it. Guess what that baby is? It is an opportunity. It's a beautiful thing. You raise that little guy, because he will change your world, and you will change his. What about those financial issues? Call me, I will help you search for a job. You will find one. There are many out there, you just have to have a little faith in yourself. You just have to explore. Whatever you do, don't give up.

 

Keep exploring. Keep searching for answers. One day, you will find your tool. No one can tell you what that tool is, but you will know it when you see it. All you have to do is look. Go for a walk. Play a game of football. Read a book. Look through a microscope. Open a computer. Draw a picture. Write a poem. Search. Create. Embrace. You have a talent. You have a hobby. You may not be able to be the best thing since sliced bread, but you still can be incredible. Do something. Do anything. BE YOURSELF. Understand there is something out there for you to find. Look inward before looking outward. Balance your life. Relax, explore, and find happiness. One day, you will find your gadget, your gizmo, or your apparatus. When you do, trust me, life will be amazing, because you will feel amazing, and everything will just be AMAZING!!!

 

So... what is your tool?

[radi6404]

This is a great and interesting thread, however I have no answer yet. Maybe I´ll come back later to give an answer about my tools

[trancenonZENsedance]

Astrojax (check my youtube channel: rawland604)

and to some extent my dj-equipment (2x pioneer cdj400 + a&h db2), but djing is a bit less personal for me compared to juggling, because, even though everyone has their own style and preferences, one mostly combines preexisting material rather than creating something completely new from scratch, + it's less immediate.