technosomy Posted June 12, 2014 Share Posted June 12, 2014 but..... we have activity people!! big x from down under radi Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shpongled247 Posted June 12, 2014 Share Posted June 12, 2014 Haha sorry Radi, I am nice yes. But sometimes I think you do my head in lol. Of course you can talk about the same groups over and over its just that they probably aren't going to get the replies you want. I mean its not astral projection.com or something haha. Sorry if u thought I was harsh wasn't meaning to be, and i could nevarr labelt you down, you make me laugh man. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tatsu Posted June 12, 2014 Share Posted June 12, 2014 It is very funny for me how some of the users here balme me and don´t think that maybe they should change a bit. If I compare this forum with many computerforums, than there is no comparison at all. The ammount of posts in one da is more than here in one month, and many users are there for a long time. If they are not outside, they post a lot. In many other forums the community has grown together and people try to get more and more posts. Here this isn´t the case. It is fine with me when there is no t a lot of interest in posting here, but it is not fine that new topics aren´t answered. Is this a community or is this a blog where people post when they need to? Why should the members change just because you don't like the way the forum is if nearly everybody else is happy with it? That's a rather selfcentered point of view. Besides that trancenonZENsedance made a really nice post about this subject in this thread, have you read it? And yes, people just post here if they need or want to. If a topic is not interesting to anybody or only to a few, it will not get many replies or maybe none at all. Get over it... We're not here for your entertainment. As you said, this is a forum, not a 24/7 chatroom. I also fail to see how people should be able to bond with each other if you push them to do so. Funny enough there is a topic about a meet up so it seems (some) people do feel close to each other. I also don't think getting as much posts as possible has anything to do with getting closer together. You like the attitude of some people or you don't, most of the times you don't need to read many posts to see where it is going. And if you want to talk about older artists or albums why don't you just use the search and look for old topics you can post? If people have anything new to add they will and if not you can at least read the old replies. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
radi6404 Posted June 12, 2014 Author Share Posted June 12, 2014 It is not very inactive aktually, but I am just feeling bad the last months. I am staying at a stillstand and everything annoys me. I just don´t know what to do in order to change things.But I guess I should post this in the other thread and not in this one. The forum is allright. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Balance Posted June 12, 2014 Share Posted June 12, 2014 Go find a girl or boy friend depending which way you swing. Seriously get out with someone else. They will not like Goa or Psy but maybe they can teach you how to enjoy life without rehashing the same topics over and over! Or make some model planes or I don't know. Do a short course in metal work or read a new book or buy some alcohol & drink yourself in to oblivion or go to a trance festival or buy a months worth of porn and wank. Just learn to enjoy more of life. It's not hard. Just do it! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tatsu Posted June 12, 2014 Share Posted June 12, 2014 I'm sorry to hear that. You posted about feeling bad several times during the last few months and occasionally before. I know it's hard but have you tried to actively change something in your life, like moving into your own appartment, getting new hobbies to meet people or whatever? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
radi6404 Posted June 12, 2014 Author Share Posted June 12, 2014 I am thinking of moving to another town soon and I hpe it will change things, but I am not someone who likes to join groups or something like that only to get in contact with new friends. If this town would be different, there would be cafes where all people go and you can get to know people there if you want. In some small towns in Bulgaria there are small cafes with two or three tables only and you can sit there and get in contact with the local people. Here not such a thing exists. Maybe there will be something similar in the other town, who knows. I am wondering how much it will cost me to move away. I hope 3000 - 3000 € is enough for that, so that I have some spare money if I don´t get started at once. The other possibility is to stay here another 4 or 5 months, but I don´t know how they will be. It is really a shame you can´t get to know people here without joining groups. And it is not only the people, I am angry because the choise of local electronic stores is low and if you want something, you have to buy it online, and if you don´t like it you have to send it back. How much I wish there would be a store where I can listen to monitor speakers and buy some without buying the wrong pair and having to sned it back. Local stores have almost nothing unfortunately. I hope I will feel better sooon because it has become really bad. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tatsu Posted June 12, 2014 Share Posted June 12, 2014 Actually there are lots of other ways to meet people than just joining groups. You can go out on your own, either to clubs, concerts, festivals or bars, and meet people for example. But you have to be the type for that and be able to easily chat with people. I know you are having a hard time but actually I'm not surprised you don't meet lots of new people or if you do (like the guys in the computer store you wrote about in another topic) the friendship or whatever you wanna call it wont last long. I'm not writing this to put you down and I can only talk about how you come across online but to me it seems you are a very negative person. Which makes you rather unattractive as friend, let alone as partner for sex or a relationship. You seem to always see the negative sides about everything, it doesn't matter if it's the town or country you are living in or a possible meet-up with the psynews guys at the balkan goa gathering. I mean seriously, since I know you you are complaining about how bad your life circumstances are and it's getting worse. When you were still in school you were very unhappy about living in Germany. Then you moved back to Bulgaria later and you complained again about living there (because there weren't enough girls like monica or something like that, can't exactly remember since it's way back when I read those posts). It's similar now: you complain about the lack of little cafes in your town. What about maybe getting your ass up and look for stuff that is good around you and try to take a chance with it? You are living where you are living so the only thing you can do is take an objective look around you, see what is there and then start to work with it. Like that there is at least the chance to change somethzing. I mean the psynews meeting sounds like fun and you seem to be able to be part of it. Instead of being happy about that and the chance to make some friends and finally meeting some forum people you whine about how the music might be too loud and about how flashlights might disturb your eyes. I can understand that if you've crossed a certain line of feeling bad you simply can't see the good things anymore. But either you nurse a depression, which means you should actually get a treatment for it, or you just like to feel bad about yourself. Because like that you can give away the responsibility for your life and for your own happiness and just bitch about how bad life ist and how you can do nothing about it. In this case (not the depression case, the other one) actually your mood wont change just out of the blue, you have to do something for it. You have to finally take responsability for your life and try to find a way to make yourself happy. If you can't do that even if you meet new people and make some friends it wont change anything about how you feel. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
radi6404 Posted June 12, 2014 Author Share Posted June 12, 2014 I can understand that if you've crossed a certain line of feeling bad you simply can't see the good things anymore. But either you nurse a depression, which means you should actually get a treatment for it, or you just like to feel bad about yourself. Because like that you can give away the responsibility for your life and for your own happiness and just bitch about how bad life ist and how you can do nothing about it. In this case (not the depression case, the other one) actually your mood wont change just out of the blue, you have to do something for it. You have to finally take responsability for your life and try to find a way to make yourself happy. If you can't do that even if you meet new people and make some friends it wont change anything about how you feel. I don´t know what to say about this. Some points of your post are right, some are not right for me. I am a different person than you and it is different for every person. Some people for example don´t feel very confortable making friends in a café or bar. It is also possible that the friend of the computer guy goes there, since he was going there earlier. It would be a big embarrasment if I would see him there, sitting at the bar alone, since in our town there is only one bar that is active during the night. The chances are small that he would be there if I go there, but if he would be there, it would be a big embarrasment. What would you do in such a situation? It always depents on the town Tatsu. We don´t live very much in the south of Germany or inside the Alps. Maybe in smaller villages you could make friends easier, but here in such a concrete desert, like the town is, people are in groups seperated from each other. It is not one of those towns where everyone knows everyone. I guess the town is too big for that, it has 40 000 citicens. If the town was different, inegration wouldn´t be a problem. I mean it would not be easy even with such circumstances, but as it is know it is very difficult without joining a group or something like that. I have not decided whenI will move away from this town, maybe it will be in a few months, or maybe I will stay for another year, we will see. But now you can understand that sometimes I am just angry and start topics like this one. It is always easier for people who are not into a difficult situation, to give advices, when you would find yourself in my situation, it would be ahrd for you aswell. And about Monica, that was a girl I loved really a lot and I was obsessed about her. People usually should not get obsessed with girls that much, since there is more to a girl than the appearance and the voice, but for me she was impressive and it was very hard when she did not want to go with me.Fr Earlier I was always obsessed with beautiful girs, thin, with beautifl smooth hair, not very tall. She was just like that, but is not like that anymore. She looks still nice, but differently than before.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Oopie Posted June 12, 2014 Share Posted June 12, 2014 Sexual frustration. That's what I'm seeing in Radi's deepest core, on behaviour level this lack of affection in emotional life leads to trying to bond in social groups of own interest - in this particular case it just so happens to be goa trance related. Radi hear me out - we could go around all day you making new excuses for this behaviour of yours. But I'm telling you should admit to yourself it's sexual frustration. Be honest about it, you only ever live once and I'm telling you honesty is the only key so grab it. These long explanation stories here are not going to the point. Eventually life like this is gonna take you further into depression and frustration. It's not here you'll _ever_ see the results you really need to achieve calmness and happiness in life. Re-route your whole thought process (thoughts lead to words, words lead to action... and women love men of action) by first changing the physical activities you do in your daily life. Goa trance is NOTHING (sorry everybody). It should be a very minor thing and curiosity in your life, not a key thing which fills your time and concentration. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
radi6404 Posted June 12, 2014 Author Share Posted June 12, 2014 Aktually it is not sexual frustration that is the problem. I don´t care about sex somuch, because my sexual fantasies are not similar to other sexual fantasies anyway and probably it would be more difficult for me than for other people, to live their sexual fantasies. I don´t care about that a lot, Oppie. Also I am not a begger, who will dance on nails, just to have my sexual fantasies. If I have to do several physical activities, like doing a proper physical job, going to fitness and similar things, just to get sex from a woman, than I don´t need it. I don´t want to adapt to that extent just to live my sexual fantasies. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Imba Posted June 12, 2014 Share Posted June 12, 2014 because my sexual fantasies are not similar to other sexual fantasies anyway and probably it would be more difficult for me than for other people Necrophilia? Zoophilia? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
radi6404 Posted June 12, 2014 Author Share Posted June 12, 2014 You know exactly what I mean Imba, We talked about it and I talked about it in the forum earlier. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
technosomy Posted June 13, 2014 Share Posted June 13, 2014 You know exactly what I mean Imba, We talked about it and I talked about it in the forum earlier. you talked about it a?????? nothing we should know about give me your address radi, i will put something in the post for you that will get your blood pumping!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
technosomy Posted June 13, 2014 Share Posted June 13, 2014 Necrophilia? Zoophilia? maybe just philia!!! or phillip or phillipa!! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Balance Posted June 13, 2014 Share Posted June 13, 2014 I don't know & can't find. Interesting though. I know ppl who are in to everything (including stuff that means I will need share anything orally with them) and they satisfy their fantasies easily. Anyway you sound a lot like I used to be. For ppl like us it's not easy to enjoy existence, bu if you push yourself to do things just because you need to fill in your existential hole you'll find a lot more in life. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
radi6404 Posted June 13, 2014 Author Share Posted June 13, 2014 you talked about it a?????? nothing we should know about give me your address radi, i will put something in the post for you that will get your blood pumping!! I talked about it in the forum aswell, but it was unpleasant to many users, so I stopped talking about it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Manuser Posted June 13, 2014 Share Posted June 13, 2014 I don´t know what to say about this. Some points of your post are right, some are not right for me. I am a different person than you and it is different for every person. Some people for example don´t feel very confortable making friends in a café or bar. It is also possible that the friend of the computer guy goes there, since he was going there earlier. It would be a big embarrasment if I would see him there, sitting at the bar alone, since in our town there is only one bar that is active during the night. The chances are small that he would be there if I go there, but if he would be there, it would be a big embarrasment. What would you do in such a situation? It always depents on the town Tatsu. We don´t live very much in the south of Germany or inside the Alps. Maybe in smaller villages you could make friends easier, but here in such a concrete desert, like the town is, people are in groups seperated from each other. It is not one of those towns where everyone knows everyone. I guess the town is too big for that, it has 40 000 citicens. If the town was different, inegration wouldn´t be a problem. I mean it would not be easy even with such circumstances, but as it is know it is very difficult without joining a group or something like that. I have not decided whenI will move away from this town, maybe it will be in a few months, or maybe I will stay for another year, we will see. But now you can understand that sometimes I am just angry and start topics like this one. It is always easier for people who are not into a difficult situation, to give advices, when you would find yourself in my situation, it would be ahrd for you aswell. And about Monica, that was a girl I loved really a lot and I was obsessed about her. People usually should not get obsessed with girls that much, since there is more to a girl than the appearance and the voice, but for me she was impressive and it was very hard when she did not want to go with me.Fr Earlier I was always obsessed with beautiful girs, thin, with beautifl smooth hair, not very tall. She was just like that, but is not like that anymore. She looks still nice, but differently than before.. radi, do you have a german passport I guess ? If so, just go to Australia mate, what I did in 2010, went there by my own, felt totally lost for the first 3 days but met lots of people, it would change your life. The visa is for 1 year, every people with a german passport can apply for it. There you can work in a farm or anything else... You will meet dicks for sure but nice people as well. 1 year visa extended to 2 years if you work 90 days in a farm. The thing is when you'll back home in 1 or 2 years nothing would have changed (I felt terrible when going back to france after 2 years) but at least it would make a change for you. Actually the visa is so fast to get, you could apply now and be in Australia in 2 weeks, no joke! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tatsu Posted June 13, 2014 Share Posted June 13, 2014 I don´t know what to say about this. Some points of your post are right, some are not right for me. I am a different person than you and it is different for every person. Some people for example don´t feel very confortable making friends in a café or bar. It is also possible that the friend of the computer guy goes there, since he was going there earlier. It would be a big embarrasment if I would see him there, sitting at the bar alone, since in our town there is only one bar that is active during the night. The chances are small that he would be there if I go there, but if he would be there, it would be a big embarrasment. What would you do in such a situation? It always depents on the town Tatsu. We don´t live very much in the south of Germany or inside the Alps. Maybe in smaller villages you could make friends easier, but here in such a concrete desert, like the town is, people are in groups seperated from each other. It is not one of those towns where everyone knows everyone. I guess the town is too big for that, it has 40 000 citicens. If the town was different, inegration wouldn´t be a problem. I mean it would not be easy even with such circumstances, but as it is know it is very difficult without joining a group or something like that. I have not decided whenI will move away from this town, maybe it will be in a few months, or maybe I will stay for another year, we will see. But now you can understand that sometimes I am just angry and start topics like this one. It is always easier for people who are not into a difficult situation, to give advices, when you would find yourself in my situation, it would be ahrd for you aswell. And about Monica, that was a girl I loved really a lot and I was obsessed about her. People usually should not get obsessed with girls that much, since there is more to a girl than the appearance and the voice, but for me she was impressive and it was very hard when she did not want to go with me.Fr Earlier I was always obsessed with beautiful girs, thin, with beautifl smooth hair, not very tall. She was just like that, but is not like that anymore. She looks still nice, but differently than before.. I just mentioned going to a bar, club or whatever as an example. To show you that maybe you should make your mind up and think about places you would like to go and that might be suitable for meeting people. I don't know what you do besides making music and being online (I know you like the rila mountains and mountains in general and highwa nor do I know the town you live in. So obviously I can't exactly tell you what to do, I can just give you hints to make you think about a solution for finding friends. But how I see it you don't care that much for it. Instead you are making up excuses why you can't make friends in your town, since it's too big. But really, if you would live in a smaller village where everybody knows everybody do you think that would be more comfortable to go to a bar alone where everybody knows you're the outsider from out of town? I somewhat doubt that. Finding friends is always hard, it doesn't matter that much where you live. Maybe you should consider the possibility that I (and I can imagine other people here too) was in a similar sitatuation and maybe I'm talking from experience and not just giving some randwom advice out of the blue. I allready wrote about that here but I met my now closest friends when I was allready 30. And I did meet them because I was joining a group who organised cultural and political events. I didn't know anybody there when I first joined them and since I'm not feeling comfortable with stranges it was actually taking quite some time to open up and actually getting to know the people. But that's how it is. Sooner or later you have to leave your comfort zone and stop giving a fuck what the computer guy (who is not fond of you anyway so fuck it) might think about this and that and start doing something. Maybe you will fail but at least you tried. If you are too proud to try then deal with the consequences. How I see it (at least for me, maybe you are different but I doubt it judging from what you write) for me it is not possible to just go to a random bar or club and meet people I would actually like to have as friends. Since most "regular" people just piss me off. So I came up with the idea to try to meet people under different circumstances. I think you should do the same but you have to make your own mind up who you would want to meet. Actually bigger cities means more people therefore better chances to find somebody you like to spend time with. I can just repeat myself: instead of always thinking about why this and that won't work I would rather make my mind up and think about what kind of people I would like to have as friends and where they might spend their freetime so you can decide where to try to meet somebody. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
radi6404 Posted June 13, 2014 Author Share Posted June 13, 2014 you are right Tatsu, I have to leave my confort zone and do something. But I did not decide yet whether I will stay in this town or not. If I don´t stay here, it would be pointless to spend a lot of time trying to make some friends. I would have to do that in the other town. Just like you I am not someone who is like the general people, at least not like the general people here. The general people here listen rAP music, cry loud and are proud when they have good cars. I don´t nkow how it is in Switzerland. And another thing I wanted to say, it is normal you like similar people as ou are, I am the same. For example I like people with a lazy attitute that don´t do too much when it is not neccessary, but which are reliable when it get´s serious, but that are details. Similar interests however are always a good thing. And about your comment with the small town, I think that in a small town where everyone knows everyone, you can get in contact with other people easier, there would always be a possibility. The best thing however is, when you have relatives in the same town where you live. that way it is very easy to have many friends, I know this from experience when I wwas in Bulgaria. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tatsu Posted June 13, 2014 Share Posted June 13, 2014 It's pretty much similar here with the people. But that's how it is: either you blend in with the regular people and like being around them so it's easy to make friends or you don't. And then you have to take special actions to find the people you actually like. It really depends but in small towns the changes that you are being watched if you are not blending in with the regular people are imho way bigger. Plus lots of younger people leave for bigger cities (especially the more alternative ones) so if you are unlucky there are mainly older people or people who are younger but allready have family and what not, which wouldn't make it easier to find friends. In the end it doesn't make a difference where you live, the reasons why it is hard to find friends may vary but but there will always be something that makes it hard. Actually I think it's this lazy attitude you mentioned that makes it hard for you to actually get what you want and it might also be the reason why you rather look for excuses than actually trying to actively change something. If you are happy with the way you are then it's no big deal. But since you are not really happy with your life maybe you might want to try to change your attitude a little. Not to suit others but it seems you are actually prefenting yourself from being happy and that's a shame. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
radi6404 Posted June 13, 2014 Author Share Posted June 13, 2014 Tatsu that is absolutely untrue and you have a false image of myself aswell. I am avery contact friendly and adaptable person who can talk to anyone. I can make friends on long bus journeys for example and have a nice talk with them. I excahnged adresses on two bus journeys, but the one time I forgot the real name on the guy to add him on facebook. The other time I sent an request to the guy, but the fool never accepted. I don´t want to praise myself, but I am an openminded and broad person and if we would meet in real life, you would see that you could get along with me very well. I am even open for many music styles and like almost anything, when we go to parties or in cafés where no goa trance is playing, I can still enjoy the music playing there and sometimes I will sit down and search for the tracks I have heart. So I think you have a wrong impression about me. the only problem is that I am a bit shy and also my dissability. Some people keep away from me because of the dissability, they can see it you know. Others will try to be very coutious with me, that is normal since they don´t know how much I see and may think I see very little. If you or other people would talk with me, they would get the real impression of how I am and not have a negative impression, beause I am not how many people here may think, boring, only likes very few things and so on. I am a person that can obssess with some things and If I obssess with certain things, I like them so much that I can tal about them and praise them every day, just like I do with the goa trance songs from the groups I like, but that doesn´t mean I am not open for anything new. You can link me almost anything and I would take a look. I listened to the track in the acid bassline thread for example and I liked it, might look for similar music to it. So if you think I am a narrowminded person, you are wrong. I am just a bit shy and the situation in this town are a bit bad in my opnion for someone, who doesn´t have contacts, but I can change it. And about the discussion big town vs small town, I know myself that in a small town, which has many café´s, parks and places where people can meet, it is not that difficult to make new friends, aktually it is pretty easy. There are many small towns where it is cool to be alternative and listen to goa or psytrance, at least I have the experience of it. The best thing for new contacts ofcourse is when you have relatives, but I said that before. If you have many people in your age in the close naighbourhood, it can be a good thing aswell. In big towns and cities however you are lost when you don´t join some groups. My town is not that big, but if you really live in Bern, I an imagine it to be very hard to make friends just out of the random and meet at some places where many other people meet. That is possible in small towns, in big towns it is not common. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tatsu Posted June 13, 2014 Share Posted June 13, 2014 Sorry but I don't get you anymore. In your last post you said yourself you are not like the general people. Obviously that doesn't mean you can't get along with them anyway, I'm also able to do that. Still, as close friends it doesn't work for me since there is not enough I can share with them. But if that's not a problem for you then I wonder why you just don't go to the next club (or whatever place it is where people around your age gather) and have a drink to see what happens. Or go to see the world cup games in a public place. Since the town you live in istn' that small you should even be able to choose between different locations. So even if you are shy sooner or later somebody will start talking to you if you show up several times and make a halfway friendly face. The procedure for that doesn't change much if you just switch to another city that is smaller but where you also don't have any contacts. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
radi6404 Posted June 13, 2014 Author Share Posted June 13, 2014 Tomorrow I will go one day for holiday I think, after that we will see what I will do. I will go to several towns this and next month to sleep there and see, whether the town is suitable for me for living. Whether I like the condition there or not, because I have to decide to which place I want to go when I move away from here. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
technosomy Posted June 13, 2014 Share Posted June 13, 2014 radi, do you have a german passport I guess ? If so, just go to Australia mate, what I did in 2010, went there by my own, felt totally lost for the first 3 days but met lots of people, it would change your life. The visa is for 1 year, every people with a german passport can apply for it. There you can work in a farm or anything else... You will meet dicks for sure but nice people as well. 1 year visa extended to 2 years if you work 90 days in a farm. The thing is when you'll back home in 1 or 2 years nothing would have changed (I felt terrible when going back to france after 2 years) but at least it would make a change for you. Actually the visa is so fast to get, you could apply now and be in Australia in 2 weeks, no joke! agree, i'll get you a job, no worries Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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