Great girl in apprenticeship

[radi6404]

so two weeks ago I started an apprenticeship at an institut for people who don´t see very well. It will go only for one year for now, and if I am good i will continue the apprenticeship. The apprenticeship offers apartments where the people can sleep for free and I am staying in one of them during the week because Iit would take me 1,5 hours to travel from my place to the instut in Stuttgart. For now I am doing well there because I am very good in German and good in maths, the maths that are required there at least. It is easy work and sometimes lots of discussion with the teachers that talk about various topics like how bad animals are treated to get their meet and eggs. There is a lot to say about that institut because, as there are people with different eyesight, some unfortunately see almost nothing, and any of those people has a different personality, there is a lot of interesting stuff to tell about that institut, ofcourse not all of it positive.

 

One positive thing however is that there is a very skinny girl in my group and she is 19, She is not very high and looks much younger than 19, but as long as she is 19 it is fine. I talked many times with her and she is intersting like sto talk a lot and we have many things in common, for example that we don´t like cold temperatures inside buildings. I have also talked to here when noone else was there, only casual things for now but it seems we get along well, because we seem to have similar views on various topics. The strange thing is, that I don´t seem to like her enough to want her as a girlfriend. I am unsure whether I want her as a girlfriend or not. Despite of being skinny, she somehow looks like she is invisible. She is healthy and ahs a healthy skin, but somehow when I look at her it is like I am looking at nothing. I like her shape, but it must be her skin or something else that makes her look like she is invisible, I have seen this before, but not to such an extent. It is a bit as if I can look through her like x-rays and I am really wondering why. does anyone know why that could be or is it because of her thinness? Maybe it is wrong food she eats and she has to eat stuff that is good for the skin and for the health in general like black tea or corn or various types of green salat.

[Scandinasia]

First, that's really great for you to meet new opportunities, such as a formation, and new friendships.

 

But, man, what is that delirium about the skinny-ness of the lady ? You write more tha 5 lines of full description about her skin and its properties, but you don't describe at all her personnality ! It seems to me that you focus is the wrong thing. You're not in a relationship with a skin, but with a person. I'm sure that she has personnal features that are really interesting/attractive. You should, I think, ask yourself (and ask her) questions such as : what does she like ? does she have passion ? what are her dreams ?

 

Don't close yourself because of the appearance of her skin, that'd be too bad !

 

Anyway, have fun with the lady (and the apprencticeship).

[Tatsu]

Considering nobody here has seen her it will get quite hard for us to diagnose her problem. But if she is really skinny it might only be logical that the way she looks is linked to her weight. Depending on how thin she is or her appearance she might even have an eating disorder. But obviously that's only a wild guess.

[radi6404]

i will upload a picture of her

 

this is the girl. Unfortunately my cellphone was set to small pictures, while I thought it was set to large pictures. Anyway, the girl is beautifully shaped, but somehow looks invisible.

 

Ok, as it was asked for, I removed the link to the picture of the girl.

[Scandinasia]

Sometimes, the visibility of a person rely more on their personnality than their body. For instance, someone skinny and little who is very self-confident, who walks steadily and who speaks low can be more visible than a tall man. But indeed, she is not fat. However, she doesn't seem (fortunately) to be in a bad condition. She looks healthy, and she smiles. If she's a smiling person, that's a precious feature.

[radi6404]

so why doesn´t anyone else commend on that thread? By the way the girl is interested a lot in comics, I think if I want to get closer to her I will have to learn something about the comics she likes. IShe also says that she likes metal to listen to, something like Rammstein, but she said that she can also enjoy electronical. Someday i will play her Astral >projection - Unbelievable Technology.

[Rotwang]

so why doesn´t anyone else commend on that thread?

It's Friday evening, the forum is always tumbleweeds at this time.

[Scandinasia]

so why doesn´t anyone else commend on that thread? By the way the girl is interested a lot in comics, I think if I want to get closer to her I will have to learn something about the comics she likes. IShe also says that she likes metal to listen to, something like Rammstein, but she said that she can also enjoy electronical. Someday i will play her Astral >projection - Unbelievable Technology.

 

 

Between metal (and especially Rammstein) and Goa trance stands the field of Electronic Body Music. It's metal spirit with Goa vibes. Sounds like a good compromise.

[technosomy]

i think she is cute.. not to skinny at all.. i have been out with way thinner girls than that.. back in my bone breaking methanphetamine days!!

cut the invisible crap radi.. you like her or not???

if yes get on with it and get to know her.. if you can't get over her physical.. forget it.. plug your headphones in and listen to boris as we know he gets you going!

if it's how she might look in leggings and high socks... the relationship won't last.... u gotta see through that.

 

sounds like you got a lot in common.

the fact you saying you might want to learn about stuff she likes (comics etc)

is a good sign... but you will have to make a decision, the fact you are somewhere to learn.. you should shake the girl anyway and focus on why you are there in the first place... to do the job.. girls can just be a distraction,

[Manuser]

You should not think too much, just let things go and be natural and if you don't feel attracted then it's totally fine.

By the way, glad to hear you started an apprenticeship it's a good news, good luck man.

[Rotwang]

You should not think too much, just let things go and be natural and if you don't feel attracted then it's totally fine.

By the way, glad to hear you started an apprenticeship it's a good news, good luck man.

+1

[radi6404]

You should not think too much, just let things go and be natural and if you don't feel attracted then it's totally fine.

By the way, glad to hear you started an apprenticeship it's a good news, good luck man.

 

But I like her. I like her looks a lot, she has a great shape, but somehow she looks invisible or so, I don´t know how to describe it. I think I will go for her because I like what she is talking aswell, and even if she looks a bit strange to me, I think I want to try it still because I want to try to get close to a girl again, it is a long time ago since I was close to a girl. The question si what is the best way to get close to her? Is it talking about her hobbies or is it talking about things that we two have in common? Is it protecting her at the right moment? or is it saying right things at the right time when many peopel are there? It would be great to hear your advices about this subject.

[trancenonZENsedance]

radi, I think it seems obvious you and her could become good friends, but there may be two important factors why the situation is the way it is, concerning a more romantic relationship.

 

The first thing might be that she may be a humble person who likes to dress and style herself rather plain than fancy to reflect her character, she might be a bit introverted or at least not very extroverted and maybe she likes to take her time when getting to know people and take things slowly. Just like Scandinasia suggested, I also think she appears kind of a bit "invisible" to you because of her personality. But do not worry about this. Firstly, because I suspect that this is one of the things you like about her, that she's humble and non-fancy and secondly, because I know that clothing and styling can make a world of a difference when it comes to how I perceive people, which is probably especially true for girls and I'm pretty sure that's the way it is for most people, not just me. She may not be too much of a looker for you right now, but I think it's not unlikely that that's the case because that's the way she wants to be perceived and this could very easily change over time or quite suddenly, and most importantly: it's not necessary to be attracted to someones appearance to be attracted to them, I think you could easily become very attracted to her just by getting to know her better, and being attracted to someone because of their character primarily instead of their physical appearance is much more powerful and important than the other way around, also because it tends to alter ones visual perception of the other person very strongly as well.

 

The second factor might be that she feels quite similar about you as you feel about her and your feelings and "non-feelings" may be mutual and reciprocal - one feels about the other this way more or less also because the other feels for one the same way. This can also change quite easily over time, mutually or not.

 

Please note that most of what I wrote is pure speculation, because I hardly know you and even less do I know her, but maybe you can gain some meaningful inspirations from my words.

 

As to what you should do... don't fret yourself over what you should or shouldn't do. It's enough if she knows that you're intrested in friendship or maybe even more and as long as you have a good time together, you'll most likely stay in contact and as time goes by get to know each other better anyway. If you do not have any other way to contact her than by seeing her at the institute it may be a good idea to exchange e-mail-adresses or cellphone numbers or both or whatever. This would be quite a clear sign to let her know you're interested in spending more time/staying in contact with her and it's good to have more than one channel by which to establish contact through in case one channel breaks suddenly and unexpectedly and generally it's better to be safe than sorry. I'd say just don't try to hurry things or steer matters in whatever directions... take your time to find out what you want, let her find out what she wants and most importantly have a good time while doing so.

[radi6404]

Thanks for your long answer man. The thing about her invinsibility is only meant visually, and by the way i am very attracted by her vision because she has a nice body, but she has a nice personality aswell. I got some information about her from one member of the class who is there for longer than me. He lives in the same apartment as I do and he says that at the beginning she told the people of the class that she doesn´t want a friend and as far as I remember never had one. The question is if that is still her attitude and if she can change it or not. I am wondering if I could change her attitude if I appear attractive to her,. The great thing what I could do now is touch her by accident, as if I am not looking at my way exactly and coliding with her, but I do it with care in order to not make her notice it was with porpuse. When we sit together I can touch her arm with my arm and she would not move her arm away too quickly. That are the things I did for now.

[Manuser]

TI got some information about her from one member of the class who is there for longer than me. He lives in the same apartment as I do and he says that at the beginning she told the people of the class that she doesn´t want a friend and as far as I remember never had one. The question is if that is still her attitude and if she can change it or not. I am wondering if I could change her attitude if I appear attractive to her,. The great thing what I could do now is touch her by accident, as if I am not looking at my way exactly and coliding with her, but I do it with care in order to not make her notice it was with porpuse.

One of the rare things I know for sure about girls is : don't believe what they say haha when a girl says she doesn't want a boyfriend don't take it literally, every woman wants a boyfriend, the day she will feel attracted to a guy she won't even remember what she said in the past about guys

Funny the girl I married 2 years ago (met 4 years ago), I remember exactly 2 weeks after we met she said she would never ever engage with anyone because she didn't trust men (at the beginning we both thought our relationship would not gonna last because we were both travelling in Australia). Funny how things can change.

It's a good thing if you can touch her by accident, things can start like that, just a last advice don't talk too much but listen to her, don't try to impress her by talking too much about you but be curious about who she is and be a good listener. But you know at the end of the day 90% of the time the girl decides not the man so yeah if she wants more she will let you know.

[trancenonZENsedance]

Thanks for your long answer man.

 

You're welcome. =)

 

The thing about her invinsibility is only meant visually, and by the way i am very attracted by her vision because she has a nice body, but she has a nice personality aswell.

 

I think I know what you mean and I understand you perceive her to have a nice body and personality, but the fact that she visually seems a bit invisible to you has probably nothing to do with her independently of you (the molecules making up her body most probably reflect just as much light as those of other people and she doesn't seem to be that thin! ), it's just your way of seeing her at the moment. But I think this isn't very important to discuss, anyway.

 

I got some information about her from one member of the class who is there for longer than me. He lives in the same apartment as I do and he says that at the beginning she told the people of the class that she doesn´t want a friend and as far as I remember never had one. The question is if that is still her attitude and if she can change it or not. I am wondering if I could change her attitude if I appear attractive to her.

 

I wouldn't attribute any meaning to this. What's important is how she acts towards you and what she says to you. Anything you hear about her from other people may be more or less true but is probably mostly completely meaningless for you and her. In this particular case, maybe she just meant she isn't actively looking for a friend and the guy interpreted it as her preferring to stay single, or she just said it because at the moment there was nobody there she would contemplate having a relationship with... third party information like this is really not actual information at all, unless it comes from someone you really trust (also their ability to remember things) and can ask very precise questions as to the circumstances, context and actual wording of what was said...

 

The great thing what I could do now is touch her by accident, as if I am not looking at my way exactly and coliding with her, but I do it with care in order to not make her notice it was with porpuse. When we sit together I can touch her arm with my arm and she would not move her arm away too quickly. That are the things I did for now.

 

These are the kind of things I would not try to do. And if I did I would not try to make it look like it wasn't on purpose. In my opinion it can be good to "do" ambigous things, or rather, "let them happen" when the situation goes in this direction by itself, things which hint at the possibilty that there's more to them than they by themself appear to be, but that's the good thing about them: they can be interpreted as people see fit and open room for interpretation/imagination without any pushing or pressure, as long as it isn't overdone and signs that it isn't welcome aren't ignored, but I would not try to steer situations in this direction, much less make it look like it was by accident/not purposely.

 

I'm not trying to tell you what is right or wrong, this is mostly really just my approach to this kind of "game". In general I think it's important that you don't act as if your "relationship" with her (even if you hardly know someone, are not yet friends, much less romantic partners, that's already some kind of "loose" relationship) for you is just about you and your ideas, desires and plans. I think you will learn much more about her if you "do less" and give her more possibilities to act and define the parameters of your contact, which are always subject to change, anyway. This would maybe show her that you're interested in getting to know her (because by being more passive you give her the chance to be more active) and she might even be more intrested in getting to know you because of it.

 

Just my 0,00002 bitcoins.

[radi6404]

I don´t think being passive is a good idea, because as it seems now she wouldn´t exchange a word if I am absolutely passive. There are more than 20 people in our group and the rooms we are are huge and she can be 20 meters way from me. I have to be active from time to time like I was when we sat at the heating and talked about various things for many minutes. It was really igreat. The other thing is that I feel that I want to touch her from time to time and it is great if she doesn´t move away very quickly, it means that she doesn´t mind it at least, which is a good sign, and by the way she is very thin, I don´t know how people here say she is not. In reality she is absolutely boney and it is visible in the pictures in my opinion.

 

One day I was in a room with three or four other people and she came inside the room without talking one word to anyone. The one guy was with his gf and one other girl and I were in the rooom. Maybe she wanted to see me, but maybe not. The difficult thing is that I don´t have strong enough feelings towards her and I want to have because I want to talk with her and know her better. I think if we would go together and she sees what I eat, she would eat it aswell and have more definition on her skin. there is food that makes the skin appearance and colour look stronger, for example corn or fruits and vegetables with strong colour. That way she would look perfect. When I think about it, I think that I will get to like her current appearance and like to have something going on with her.

[Scandinasia]

 

I don´t think being passive is a good idea, because as it seems now she wouldn´t exchange a word if I am absolutely passive.

Just remember that :

_taking some time is not being passive.

_listening to someone also isn't passive at all.

 

Listen to her actively. Do not rush to a conclusion.

[technosomy]

just let it flow.. don't think to much about it...

and remember what the great clitoris said........ CHICKS LOVE CONFIDENCE!!!!!!!!!!

[radi6404]

I just wanted to say that the internet works now and I can post here in this forum when I am at home in Stuttgart. I am writting now from Stuttgart. The bad thing is that the volume will only be 1 GB for this month, but next month it will be 5 GB. I changed it to 5 GB for next month. Let´s hope that I wont be able to download 1 Gb internet volume in 10 days, because it wont be much more than ten days til Christmas holidays begin. It will be about 13 days or so. I hope I will be able to cope with that, otherwise I will have to use slow intenrnet I think. The damn operator would not change the contract conditions this month, but will updaded them next month. LMaybe I have to call the operator and ask if it is possible to change the conditions this month. I also have to put some aliuminium foil around the usb stick, it is already outside the window. I am afraid of the radiation and want to minimise it so that I don´t recieve wlan radiation.

 

About the girl, I am seeing here every day, but I can´t get in a good conversation with her, only some words. I still don´t know if I want to get in touch with her because she behaves like a kid. She watches comics and likes stuff like amine and manga and similar things. This is nice sometimes, but not all the time, not in my opinion at least, it is a bit childish in my eyes.

[Imba]

I still don´t know if I want to get in touch with her because she behaves like a kid.

 

Then you understand each other perfectly! Believe me this will work. Full support from me and Chicknosomy?

[radi6404]

Then you understand each other perfectly! Believe me this will work. Full support from me and Chicknosomy?

If you want to imply by that that I behave like a kid, I think it is not working. To be serious I don´t know who show a more mature behaviour in this forum, you or me. You don´t know what I mean when I say someone behaves like a kid. What you think is behaving like a kid has ntohing to do with it aktually, because I don´t behav e like a kid. I have unusual views on certain things, but that doesn´t mean I behave like a kid. It rather means I am more mature and can look behind things and decide what is best for me without being afraid whether it will be cool for other people like you. For example if I say algaes or omega 3 is healthy, you may think that is behaving like a kid. Aktually yu wont hear any such thing by a kid or by people who don´t care about anything. I drink black tea, Gingko tea and eat many other healthy things. I choose my techical equipment very carefully and know what I buy. I can talk wit people about many scientifical or political topics and have interesting conversation with them. Excuse me, but that is not a behaviour of a kid, maybe yours is, since I don´t see you contribute often in topics like the ones I mentioned, so please spare my your ironic shit as I don´t care. If you think I behave like a kid, first look at your behaviour. If you want to make a joke, I am fine with that.

[Scandinasia]

She watches comics and likes stuff like amine and manga and similar things. This is nice sometimes, but not all the time, not in my opinion at least, it is a bit childish in my eyes.

 

Being fond of it isn't at all the sign of a lack of maturity. (Except if the addicted person isn't able to stand any serious conversation about more "serious" topics.)

[radi6404]

Being fond of it isn't at all the sign of a lack of maturity. (Except if the addicted person isn't able to stand any serious conversation about more "serious" topics.)

Inded it is not unless someone does it all the time, and she is doing it all the time. She plays games that look like comics, she watches comics, she reads books that are mangas, I don´t even know what that is, and much more stuff like that. I don´t really have something against it and would like to have a longer conversation with her, but for now I was not able to do that. She said to someone who started that course earlier, that she doesn´t want any boyfriend, the question is would she be able to resist if the right one for her comes? Also, am I the right one or not? Does someone have some tips on how to give her hints that I want something from her?

[Balance]

If I was a girl I'd think you were the kind of guy my parents always warned me about. You write about women like they are impossible to engage with. Ask her out. She'll either say yes or no. Either way it might work out or not but ffs it's better to try and fail in life that not try at all & sit around posting what ifs on a small forum.